So you checked your portfolio this morning and it's value is cut in half. The panic is palpable and the price is cratering. Follow these instructions:

1. Lie down on the floor. We don't have time for comfort so get down there immediately and don't worry about how hard the floor is. Just get on your side.

2. Pull your knees up to your chest and hug them with both arms.

3. Rock gently back and forth while focusing your mind to go to your happy place. My happy place is when Bitcoin reached $1200 in 2013, just before the Goxxing and I go there often. Humming soft nothings can also be beneficial.

4. Try not to cry. I'm married with two children. Don't show weakness in front of children, they can smell weakness like a pack of rabid dogs. If you do need to cry, place a towel over your head.

5.Price recovery should begin shortly, so hold this position only to get through the initial price meltdown.

There you did it. See, it wasn't that bad and now you have a concrete plan of attack for the next hack and dump. You have graduated to become an old Bitcoin veteran now and after a few years you will be completely immune to the effects of price implosion. Here's to hoping they recover the stolen coins.