The ringing of my ear is very bothersome now because I can just notice it so it is just impossible for me not to use an electric fan or maybe live in a very quiet neighborhood for the reason that my Tinnitus will get more noticeable.
It is really maddening to think about this condition and I am just appalled to my body that I think every part of it is diseased so I sometimes think that there is no more reason for me to live with using this very defective body anymore.
I think that the only major organ in me that is not diseased are my spleen and pancreas, all others like my eye for example have some degree of defect so I am just overwhelmed but I am not surprised because it all falls down like a domino effect since my body parts are link to one another.
I am now tired and weary and I wish that God would soon take my spirit and let me finally rest in peace, after all this world is not for me, I am already bored, I had seen all the movies I wanted, had listened to the music that I want to listen to, and i could never eat anyway all the foods that I want, so why bother living?
Sometimes I wished that life has a reboot button so I can be reborn and start over but it is not like that. Anyway there is an afterlife anyway which is way better than what this world has to offer and I hope that God wills it for me to get into there and never worry anymore about enduring these hardships doing to me by my defective body.