I am just sad to know that my uncle whom we do not really expected to pass away just died unexpectedly. He has a bit of hypertension but we all know really that hypertension is just an underlying symptom of a disease or condition. He might have gotten a clogged artery somewhere in his heart causing him to fall down and he didn't even make it to the hospital.
But in a way I am happy that he died that way, fast and almost painless unlike in my situation where I am really in a very hard situation and condition. I am sick most of my lifetime and it is really unimaginable to think about it too.
It is also my frustration and deep regret that I haven't had the chance to spend some time with my uncle and cousins so I never had known all the names of my cousins in my mother side of the family.
I spent some four whole months in my grandmother's home even after I abruptly had quit school for the reason of health because I wanted to spend some time with my cousins there because I thought that i was going to die from my kidney disease fast. But I didn't die and had quite lasted until now.
I still wanted to live but I still also wanted to die too, so whatever comes I will just accept but at the moment I am just managing it all and hope to make things better for myself and try to achieve goals that I had set while in the middle of my long-suffering about my condition.
Now it is just too late to spend some quality time with my cousins, most of them had grown up and probably haven't had known my name too. I was wondering how much great time that we must have done if I just got the chance to be with them for only a few weeks from my childhood. Rest in peace dear Uncle Felix.