I am terrified of bathing now because there are many possibilities that I could injure myself. The one that I am trying to prevent was an injury to my hip bone or hip joint. It that would get affected and God forbid it might because it would be one of the greatest problem that I would face since it will make me unable to walk completely.
So I am really careful with my steps because my bones have deteriorated over time already and I was talking about more than 18 years or so of my bones leaching out its calcium into my system, so much so that in my chest X-ray about ten years ago indicated that my lungs are being calcified which means that my Parathyroid is pumping its hormones will nilly into my body making my bones to let out Calcium and getting it concentrated into my blood calcifying my soft tissue organs.
In fact some of my veins are stiff already so I am worried that they still are calcifying and would get blocked especially in my head or heart so it is just terrifying with all the sense of the word because I might suffer a stroke first and be a vegetable and then hearing my parents not to send me for dialysis anymore since I could not even talk and then that will lead me to a lingering death which I would say as a hell on earth in that final days of my life.
So I am praying to God to just take my spirit quickly and not with that kind of aforementioned scenario which is very possible to happen. That is why I am keeping my health and managing it religiously with all what I can do with the help of God so that I could at least stop the progression of the deterioration of my body which also in the back of my mind I could not do without really a divine intervention.
So I am just careful with everything now even though it is hard to move with some aching and stiff joints all I just wanted is to at least do my own thing in the bathroom without somebody helping me and with that alone I would be grateful and thankful enough that I could still manage to bathe myself around which is from the past a very leisurely activity that I am enjoying a few times each day.