Back about a buncha bottles of whiskey ago, there was a 4-pack of comedians called Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Ron White was my favorite of the four. He doesn't censor his curse words like the other three female dogs. He's always got a scotch, the longer he performs the drunker, Cuban cigar in the other hand and crass like "my wife knows what I want and I know what she won't do."
Another dude on the tour was Jeff Foxworthy. He had a segment called "You Might Be A Redneck if" where he'd crack jokes like "if you mow your front yard and find a car... you might be a redneck." This is like that only different.
There's more churches in The South than schools. More churches than banks. There's more churches here than people! They do funny things here, too, like censor gin and indo on the radio but #GD #Bwords are live on the air like adult store super-center grand openings and "ɎØɄ ₥Ʉ₴₮ ⱤɆ₱Ɇ₦₮!" So I snapped a couple photos, Amen.
Welcome. Hi. Have we met? 👊🏼 Nice to be seen. This is what Bible Belt propaganda looks like when you're not all like sSs0Oo0oO0oo Old Testament.
If the original cover image captured two billboards above Jesus with his hands tied behind his back and you only had room for one, you might be in the Bible Belt.
If a pair of handicap parking spaces are accompanied by a pair of crucifixes at a biker church because God rides a Harley, you might be in the Bible Belt.
When roadways are lined with illuminated unneighborly billboards praying for forgiveness, you might be in the Bible Belt.
If you're in California and the luggage rack on top of the car next to you is glowing FAITH the driver's more than likely a George Michael fan. In the Bible Belt they're not George Michael fans! They've never been George Michael fans and anyone who listens to George Michael will burn in hell.
If the tailgate in front of you is talking to itself, avoid that truck! It's either a split personality tailgate or the whole thing's having a psychotic break. However, if the talking tailgate is included in the sticker price and 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔞𝔱𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔱𝔞𝔦𝔩𝔤𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔰𝔥𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔟𝔢𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔱𝔥 𝔲𝔭𝔬𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔢, you might be in the Bible Belt.
You might be in the Bible Belt if the local radio station crucified their mailbox to a cross.
If the van in front of you is not a church or a religion or a private van at all and it's just a normal ass van with a family of four returning home from a spiritual retreat, you might be in the Bible Belt.
You might be in the Bible Belt if you want a glass of sweet tea and order both coffee and sweet tea because the neighbors coveted wife backed over your mailbox and you want to kill her.
Omega. If you can snap a shot of faith in motion and nobody's vehicle changed lane for lane, signal for signal, you might be in the Bible Belt.
