I don't always have the writing vibes and often procrastinate to write down what God has been speaking to me which is why when I do get the vibes, I'm learning to hurry up in writing them down. And what better way than to maximize the purpose of blockchain tech than to post it up on the STEEM blockchain.
Also I've gotten some encouragement from some friends that have read my previous post that it's really good and to keep on talking about this. So I'm hoping to expound on the thought further in this write-up.
Here's the link to the previous part on this subject: Frameworks Issue #17: Counterfeit Love - Detox Your Mind
I want to really stress that this reading, is in no way to make you feel bad about yourself or your past or whatever. This write-up is to encourage you and to reveal that God has purposed in His heart and through Jesus Christ, has set us up for abundant life and life in all it's fullness. I'm here to expose the crap and lies we've been fed by the majority of social media, TV programs, porn, books, that these have crippled our life from living to it's fullness and bound us in a life of slavery to it's toxic ideology. And if you can say, "NO MORE LIES!" to your self, then I'm with you in faith and in heart to walk this journey of freedom.
In our day and age it seems like we're the most challenged generation of human history to find love. It's seems like it's so hard to find love. It's seems hard to find someone compatible. Hard to find someone that understands you. Hard to find, "the one".
But what if I told you that all these difficulties are a result of a counterfeit version of love, shaped by criterias and checklists in our minds that have been fed by the dysfuntional world we live in? What if I told you, your thoughts are not your own and that you've been believing in someone else's belief, which could be dysfunctional? What if I told you, that none of us, including myself, have our own thoughts to begin with but are a collection and manifestation of what we've been impacted by the most or the culture that we live in? What if our version of love has been shaped by an substandard, inferior, counterfeit version? What if, there is only 1 version of love and relationship and that every other suggestion or "option" or version is a counterfeit? I'm here to tell you that majority of outlets that we get our input from or information from, are nothing short of the above.
What if, there is ONLY 1 version of love and relationship and that every other suggestion or "option" is a counterfeit?
Here is a short list of bullcrap we've been fed and sadly may have believed in:
disclaimer: extremely toxic material to base on for marriage
- Romance/Chemistry = Love
- Sex = Love
- No Chemistry - No Love
- No Sex = No Love
- Compatibility = Confirmed Relationship Success
- In and out of relationship = Experience
- Irreconcilable Differences = Irreconcilable Differences
- Alone = Lonely
We somehow take these ideas as the compass for our lives and call it "life goals" but....... ok.... let's just think here for a second and ask yourself..... How many people in my life are single because they believe in this?
I'm not saying that being single = bad. Another crap equation. But what I am saying is that a lot are single not because nobody likes them or are interested in them. But because for example, they feel incompatible with the person who likes them so they reject them, even before actually getting to know them personally. Why do we do this? Most singles would say, they're not my type.
Doesn't it sound kindda hypocrital that many of us believe in the idea we're all different and we're all special and "don't tell me how to live my life coz you're not me", but when it comes to dating and relationship, we've somehow gotta be compatible first?
Cause and Effect
I'd like to propose that perhaps, divorces, broken families, jealousy, cheating, rivalries between siblings and family members, are the result in wrong beliefs. You can just analyze and magnify on the most broken culture you know of, the most suicides, depression, divorces, and whatever brokenness in regards to relationship, and notice clearly that these things co-relate with the influences culture and belief systems. And if someone in the culture doesn't stand up for the right ideology, the cycle repeats itself. Broken ideologies = broken families which result in broken ideologies that leads to broken families again.
What we open ourselves to the most affects our life. Believe in crap = crap life. Belief in good stuff = good life. Trusting in God = Rest.
Our belief directly affects the outcome of our life. The belief of the world on romance, love, and relationship, promises a lot of good but under delivers in every aspect of the word good. I don't know how to put this more SERIOUSLY but, what we believe in is a ******** serious matter!
What we believe in is a ******** serious matter!
The definitions that the world has so often fed us about love and relationship have proven that it's a version that simply just doesn't work. It doesn't work in real life. Most of it is just for entertainment. In fact, if we are led by these beliefs as our ideological compass, we get ourselves into unnecessary misery and unwholesomeness. We've been duped folks!
We've got to be honest with ourselves that the answer is probably yes when it comes to, have I believed in lies? That our idea of relationship and love has been based on our family dynamics or life situations, broken or wholesome, perfect or imperfect. That our idea of relationship and love has been shaped by movies and TV programs. And if we can come to a more humble position to say, "Hmmm.. Maybe I have some dysfunctional mindsets because of what I've gone through" or "Hmmm.. I could have been believing in some counterfeits about life", then we are seriously getting somewhere here. Your breakthrough is at hand....!!!
*Your breakthrough is at hand!
What has impacted us deeply or what we've given attention to the most has often shaped us to be who we are. Don't like who you are? Get impacted by something greater.
Dealing with Your Past
For some of us, we've really gone through some serious shit that has traumatically impact us. I mean who hasn't?
I'm gonna give 2 thoughts on getting out of trauma and hurt.
The answer you NEED:
The love of Jesus Christ. It is your portion. His love is bigger than you past, your shortcomings, your hurts, your trauma. Any area of your life that makes you feel hopeless is under the influence of a lie!
Any are of our life that does not have hope is under the influence of a lie. - Bill JohnsonLove will cover a multitude of sins. - 1 Peter 4:8b
Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened [by religious rituals that provide no peace], and I will give you rest [refreshing your souls with salvation]. - Matthew 11:28
The answer you HAVE:
Experience shape who we are don't they? I'd like to suggest to take a more powerful position in your life by being accountable for your actions now. We can't always control what happens to us, but we can always choose who we want to be NOW! We might not have had good father. We might have had a horrible mother. A shitty family. But your future doesn't have to be so. You can choose to be a powerful person. Why? Because Christ lives in you. REST IN THAT ASSURANCE.
“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one [a]cubit to his [b]stature? “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not [c]arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. - Matthew 6:25-34
Related Short Story
I asked a friend who is from a family whos parents got divorce when we has very young a question when we were talking about something to do with love, "Is it safe to say, that since you're from a broken family (he agreed he's from one), that maybe you don't know what love is? And that instead of trying to find love, maybe learn how to receive it first?"
Like I mentioned earlier in the post, we often don't lack love or people liking us, we just don't know how to receieve the love we're given. Let us learn to receive love better.
I believe that every day, we're getting showered by the love and goodness of God. So many times in our lives it just goes unnoticed because we just miss it. We miss it because it's not what we're expecting. We're expecting romance and waking up every morning excited to talk to the person and conclude that that is love.
Pause. Stop. Get out of your own way. Your beliefs might be hindering you from enjoying His goodness.
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the [renewing] of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. - Romans 12:2
The word renew here in this verse comes from the Greek word anakainosis which stresses the participation on the part of the believer. In other words, what we deem as good and perfect is directly related to whether our minds are renewed or conformed to this world. We can only be transformed (greek: metamorpho) and experience the good and perfect things of God for our lives if we participate and allow our minds (ideologies and beliefs), to be changed.
Conclusion and Encouragement
We need men and women, fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, who will carry the call of their Creator and bring purpose, wholesomeness, and definition back to the family unit. People that inspite of what they are going through, choose to love, choose to worship God and not their feelings.
A Little Prayer
God, thank you for Your grace that You have so freely poured out for me. I realise that sometimes I'm not getting happiness or what I want not because You're not giving it to me, but because I just can't recognize that it's You. Whatever that is not my portion, renew my mind Lord and give me Your thoughts and Your definitions so that I won't continue to get in my own way and sabotage my life and my future. I detach myself from influences that have robbed away my peace and my joy and my destiny. You are my source of purpose and of identity. I continue to drink from that source of Life and not from my any other ideas.
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TOPIC FINDER: I always enjoy talking with people on topics they like to converse about so if you have a "How-To" or a question related to life, leave a comment and I'll write my thoughts on it in an upcoming post. Oh and I'll be upvoting comments just for engaging. Bless you!
Previous Frameworks: Frameworks Issue #17: Counterfeit Love - Detox Your Mind
Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://danielwong.vornix.blog/2018/09/06/frameworks-issue-19-counterfeit-love-part-2-perspective-alignment/