I had a friend. Good guy, really. But he was stuck in a relationship that was slowly draining him and everybody around him could see it except him. Or maybe he could see it, i dont know. Every time i tried to bring it up he had an answer ready. Always a reason why things were actually okay. Always a new explanation.
He wasnt lying to me. He was lying to himself. And the scary part is he had done it for so long he genuinely could not tell the difference anymore.
I have been that person too. Maybe not in the same way but i have told myself things that deep down i knew were not true. Most of us have.
And the reason is simple. The truth asks something from you. It is not just information. It comes with a price. You have to change something, admit something, let go of something you been holding tight for a long time. That is not easy for anybody. So instead people just dont go there.
They stay in the job that kills their spirit every single monday morning and call it stability. They keep the friendship that leaves them feeling empty and call it loyalty. They push the dream to next year again and call it being realistic. They blame everything around them so they never have to look at what is actually going on inside.
And slowly, the story they keep telling themselves starts to feel like the truth.
The problem with that is life does not wait forever. At some point it forces the conversation you been avoiding. And when that happens it is usually messy, painful and way harder than it needed to be. Because you waited.
I am not saying be hard on yourself. That is not what this is about. Self honesty is not about beating yourself up every day. Its just about being willing to sit down with yourself, no performance, no excuse, and just look at things as they actually are.
Most people are afraid to do that. Not because they are weak but because nobody ever really showed them that it was okay to be that honest with themselves.
But everything real in your life starts from that one moment of truth.
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