BUILD CONFIDENCE AND DESTROY FEAR.(Part 3)

FEAR OF OTHER PEOPLE (ANTHROPOPHOBIA)

Why do people fear other people? Why do many folks feel self-conscious around others? What's behind shyness? What can we do about it?
Well, anthropophobia is a big fear. But there is a way to conquer it. You can conquer fear of people if you will learn to put them into proper perspective.
I figured out something pretty basic. The awesome discovery that people are alike in many, many more ways than they are different, truly fascinates me. I discovered the other fellow is pretty much like me. He likes good food, he misses his family and friends, he wants to get ahead, he has problems, he likes to relax and most interestingly he is a steemian (smiles).
So if the other fellow is basically like me, there's no point in being afraid of him."
Now, doesn't that make sense? If the other fellow is basically like me, there's no reason to be afraid of him.

Here are two ways to put people in proper perspective:
1. Get a balanced view of the other fellow.
Keep these two points in mind when dealing with people: first, the other fellow is important. Emphatically, he is important. Every human being is. But remember this, also: You are important, too*.
So when you meet another person, make it a policy to think, "We're just two important people sitting down to discuss something of mutual interest and benefit.". (Try this and let me know how it felt)
This mutually important attitude helps you keep the situation balanced. The other fellow does not become too important relative to you in your thinking.
The other fellow might look frightfully big, frightfully important. But remember, he is still a human being with essentially the same interests, desires, and problems as you.

2. Develop an understanding attitude.
People who want figuratively to bite you, growl at you, pick on you, and otherwise chop you
down are not rare. If you're not prepared for people like that, they can punch big holes in your confidence and make you feel completely defeated. You need a defense against the adult bully, the fellow who likes to throw his meager weight around.

A story that illustrates the above is that of a young clerk at the reservations desk of a Memphis hotel, It was shortly after 5 P.M., and the hotel was busy registeting new guests. The fellow next in line gave his name to the clerk in a commanding way. The clerk said, "Yes sir, Mr. R., we have a fine Single for you."
"Single" shouted the fellow. "I ordered a double."
The clerk said, very politely, "Let me check, sir." He pulled the guest's reservation from the file and said, "I'm sorry, sir. Your telegram specified a single. I'd be happy to put you in a double room, sir, if we had any available. But we simply do not."
Then the irate customer said, "I don't care what the hell that piece of paper says, I want a double." Then he started in with that "do-you-know-who-I-am" skit, followed with ''I'll have you fired. You'll see, I'll have you fired.
As best he could, under the verbal tornado, the young clerk injected, "Sir, we're terribly sorry; but we acted on your instructions,
Finally the customer, really furious now, said, "I wouldn't stay in the best suite in this - - hotel now that I know how badly managed it is," and stormed out.

The next customer stepped up to the desk, thinking the clerk, who had taken one of the worst public tongue-lashings he had seen in some time, would be upset. Instead he greeted him with one of the finest "Good evening, sirs" ever heard. As he went through the routine of processing the customer' room, the customer said to him, "I certainly admire the way you handled yourself just a moment ago. You have tremendous temper control."
"Well, sir," the clerk said, "I really can't get mad at a fellow like that. You see, he really isn't mad at me. I was just the scapegoat.
The poor fellow may be in bad trouble with his wife, or his business may be off, or maybe he feels inferior and this was his golden chance to feel like a wheel. I'm just the guy who gave him a chance to get something out of his system."
The clerk added, "Underneath he's probably a very nice guy. Most folks are."

After reading about this awesome clerk, I caught myself repeating aloud, "Underneath he's probably a very nice guy. Most folks are."
Remember those two short sentences next time someone declares war on you. Hold your fire, let them fire blanks.

The way to win in situations like this is to let the other fellow blow his stack and then forget it. Come out tops on the other side of FEAR