“OK, can I just be honest about this burger, Upgrade Papa?”
“Of course, Glendella.”
“This burger tastes like I would think the one they have on display for the commercials would taste like, but we never get to taste those.”
Capt. R.E. Ludlow, having pulled out one of his good Army recipes for burgers, smiled at ten-year-old Glendella Ludlow.
“Go on,” he said.
“OK, so, it's like this – they show you a burger to make you want one, but when you get one, it never looks right or tastes that good, either,” Glendella said. “This tastes just as good as it should, even though it still doesn't stack quite the same as the ones in the commercials.”
“I don't put cardboard patties in mine to stack them,” the captain said, and watched all eight (grand) children react.
“See, this is why I'm a vegetarian, not a meat-a-tarian or a cardboard-a-tarian,” seven-year-old Amanda said.
“Yeah, I'm just going to stay over here, too, because sheesh!” nine-year-old George said. “The things that people are doing with the regular food nowadays – by the way, Papa, the chickpea patties you made for Amanda and me are great, too!”
“Somebody needs to be fired, now!” eight-year-old Edwina said. “That is not how we use fashion!”
“Oh, but it is,” Mrs. Thalia Ludlow said. “When you look in the catalog, you see a model wearing clothes, and that makes you think those clothes might look good on you, so you want them. When you see food on television, that's model food. The one on display is a model.”
“That explains a lot,” six-year-old Grayson said.
“It does?” Capt. Ludlow said, with a smile.
“Yes, Papa, it does” Grayson said. “A lot of fast food still tastes like cardboard because they forget to take it out.”
“Yeah, that was in the news about those snacks we brought home!” George said.
“They don't care what happens to us as long as they make money,” eleven-year-old Eleanor said.
“This is why we always eat so much at home instead of out, and why both Papa and Grandma cook,” ten-year-old Andrew said.
“And this is why we insist that both the Ludlow woman-training unit and the Ludlow man-training unit all learn how to cook,” Capt. Ludlow said, “because what you see with food on television is not what you get. Clothes you put on you, food you put in you – so, getting that right is even more important.”
“Can I get more to put in me?” five-year-old Lil' Robert said as he held up his empty plate, and grinned as his smiling grandfather slid him a few more pickles.