“But the thing is, you ain't gotta convince me! You gotta convince common sense that it is wrong! Go do that!”
“Now that''s what I call a way to end a conversation,” eight-year-old Gracie Trent whispered to her eleven-year-old sister Velma while they were doing quality eavesdropping on their 18-year-old sister Vanna.
“A convo, a friendship, a relationship, and a whole lot of wasted time,” Velma said. “I'm eleven and I know Mala had it coming.”
“I mean, I don't know how people do all this by age 18,” Gracie said. “I mean, there's food, sleep, Sunday School and church, and school and homework, and there's a lot more of it at that big age.
Where do girls find time to get into the same trouble, over and over again?”
“Well,” Velma said, “you can get good at anything it you put your mind to it.”
“Ain't it the truth,” Gracie said.
“I mean, think about it,” Velma said. “We have enough cousins who are really good at acting bad until they roll up on Dad or Grandma Jubilee, who are even better at dealing with bad guys. It all takes practice. So, Vanna had some friends that have gotten good at doing dumb things, but she has gotten better at dropping dumb friends.”
Gracie considered this.
“Well, at least they aren't as dumb as our dumb cousins – they don't roll up on her.”
“No, but I've been reading that the strongest human desire is self-preservation,” Velma said. “Imagine the situation. You meet Grandma Jubilee, Dad, Vanna, and Melvin, because of course he as our big brother can turn into younger Dad at any time. Our dumb cousins get high on their own supply sometimes, but if you are not intoxicated, you don't make mistakes like that.”
“Yeah, that would be real bad,” Gracie said. “I mean, getting told off is bad because you have to live with it, but then again, you get to live with it.”
“Right, because you can also die with it – and that's not even counting the Stepforth side of the thing. You roll up on somebody's granddaughter and that somebody has three billion dollars – like that's a good idea.”
“Any time someone can bury you alive in just their pocket change while Big Mama Velma is telling you off as the money is being shoveled over you – not a good idea,” Gracie said.
“Not quite what I meant, but still, you have the basic idea,” Velma said. “Which goes back to people not agreeing with common sense: you can't have friends fighting with common sense because when the shoveling and shooting starts, you don't need the drama.”
“Ain't it the truth, Velma, ain't it the truth,” Gracie said.