Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) creates important motivational problems for adolescents. Psychologists say that attention deficit disorder affects both motivation and the ability to focus on objects.
ADHD can be compared to a large magnifying glass, which increases the smaller motivational problems of adolescents. The main one of these problems is the desire of adolescents for independence.
Adolescents want to make their own decisions, but at the same time tend to remain young children, dependent on their parents. When your child discusses when to go home, try to assert your independence and when you do not clean your room or forget to take the textbooks to school, it shows that it is up to you.
But how does ADHD increase adolescent problems? Most parents whose children suffer from ADHD do more for their children than they should be.
Adolescents with ADHD are more likely to reject their parents' help than their peers. This is because the intervention of the parents is an even greater threat to their independence.
There is another problem that harms adolescents with ADHD. Unlike girls, children and young people are forced to prove their virility among themselves. They try to be competent and responsible.
Therefore, a child with ADHD who has problems with their studies may consider that their carelessness and lack of organization pose a threat to their masculinity.
The adolescent will try to rationalize his feelings and will say that learning is not a big problem. His academic performance means much less to him than self-esteem and self-confidence.
If ADHD harms the motivation of adolescents, how can it be restored? The key to creating the intrinsic motivation of an adolescent is three components: competence, control and communication. Consider in more detail the first two components.
To motivate yourself to do something, a person must feel competent in this matter. You must also feel control over the process and the result.
Self-motivation is based on a sense of autonomy, meaning choice and the ability to cope with its consequences. Self-sufficiency is what adolescents struggle, although they are not always willing to accept responsibility.
Remember that this may take some time. But your teenager does not need to achieve everything at once. For example, to enter a university, you do not need to immediately receive the best grades in the school. But the more you allow him to take responsibility, the greater your chances of admission.
Ways to accustom the child to responsibility:
1. Set rules and limits, but do not control the child.
Give the child minimal expectations about his grades (there is no need to demand the highest grades). Make sure your expectations are reasonable and tell your child how to achieve this result. Check assignments once every three weeks, but not every night.
2. Use development education.
It helps to achieve the child's development goals. The skills do not develop in a single day, it takes time.
Education for development is not the same as excessive care. Education for development is designed to improve the child's abilities, excessive care, to control it. For example, a child may need to mark the events planned in his calendar, but then his duty is to monitor the implementation of these tasks.
3. Do not do too much for the child.
Make a list of all the things you do for your child during the week. Think about what a child can do on this list independently and what they can not.
If you find something too complicated for the child to do on their own (for example, apply to college), help them, but give them the opportunity to do some of the work themselves. So you teach him to take responsibility. Also pay attention to domestic chores.
4. Do not try to be a superhero.
If you save a child from all problems, it does not give him the opportunity to acquire the skills necessary for the independent resolution of various problems. In addition, the child receives a message that says he is incompetent and that he can not do without you.
There are three types of situations your child is in:
- those in which you exactly need it, because the consequences can be too great (for example, health problems or destructive relationships with the teacher for the child);
- Those with whom you can face your help (for example, situations in which you remind your child of work deadlines),
- as well as those with which you can face on your own (for example, lessons, housework, etc.)
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Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://deisip67.vornix.blog/2019/02/25/school-for-parents-children-with-disorder-attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/