In the self-development industry, there's a popular truism that our greatest leaps in personal growth also tend to come out of our greatest trials and hardships in life.
I've even heard people say things like "If I'm not scared senseless, I'm not growing!"
That one is a bit more radical than the old standby "Feel the fear, and do it anyway!" popularized by motivational author Susan Jeffers in the 1990s.
Do We HAVE to Learn From FEAR?
Golden leaf
I have typically been skeptical of the assertion that we only learn during times of struggle and hardship. As a rule, during times of hardship, I have been far too preoccupied with simply trying to not end up in a box under an overpass to learn much of anything.
Seems to me that perhaps different people respond differently under stress.
Some of my own greatest leaps in personal growth have actually been when I was very much at peace and free from worry. Of course, I'm not suggesting that adversity can't be a great teacher, just suggesting that it doesn't have to be the only teacher.
Similarly, I have experienced some quantum leaps in personal growth that were far more delightful than they were frightening. Some would have me believe that's either not possible... or not real.
Self-Development is a Strange Field
To me, that fits in the same category of "strange little conundrums" as the notion that someone can only reach self-actualization or so-called "enlightenment" as a consequence of extensive suffering.
French Lavender in bloom
If you haven't spent years and even decades suffering... your enlightenment isn't real.
There was always something slightly creepy about that-- almost like there was a little "suffering club" you were required to be a member of, in order to gain wisdom.
I spent the better part of a couple of decades being somewhat of a "spiritual workshop nerd." I studied extensively and sat at the feet of a number of so-called gurus, and one of the odd patterns I noticed among my fellow "seekers" was that "who's suffered more" seemed to be almost a competitive sport... and the more you'd suffered, the more authentic your self-realization.
Slightly odd, if you stop and think about it: That would make it one of the rare fields where "failing the class" multiple times actually makes you a "better" student than someone who "gets it" halfway through the first lesson.
Now you might be wondering why I'd spend a couple of decades on this stuff... and all I can say to that is that I kept thinking I had to be missing something... but actually? I wasn't.
Let's Get Back to the Question...
So why is it that so many seem absorbed-- and even invested-- in the concept that true personal growth is "scary?"
Close-up of a tiny daisy
Well, ultimately when you make a quantum leap of growth and have some major epiphany, it means you let go of closely held beliefs and ideas... and perhaps that can be frightening to someone who finds great comfort in emotional and spiritual stability.
I grok that.
Personally? I am more afraid of muggers with sharp knives in a dark alley... which, oddly, seem less scary to many people who insist they'd just "pound the hell out of someone like that!"
Wow. Good for you. I'd probably lose my dinner. Give me a spiritual realization that turns my belief system inside out, any day.
And so, we end up back at my earlier assertion that different people respond to different kinds of stress in different ways.
How about YOU? Have you ever made any quantum leaps in personal understanding? Were they "scary" experiences? Did they change the way you look at life? Did they shake your core beliefs about your existence? Do you believe personal is fundamentally scary or upsetting? Furthermore, do you believe self-realization or "enlightenment" has to be the result of extensive suffering? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!
CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE STEEMIT BLOGGERS ON DISCORD
created by @zord189
(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Created at 180113 23:54 PST