Getting paid to line dance, drinking beer Lao and having men throw their wives at my husband are all part of one of my fondest experiences in Laos thus far. Which adventure could I be talking about? A wedding of course! This I soon realised is nothing like the western weddings I am accustomed to.
There were over 1000 guests! This is apparently not uncommon. Most weddings have thousands of friends, family and local villagers attending. I asked how the young couple would pay for such a big party and now know why guests entered returning their invitation envelopes a few (or many) dollars heavier. I even heard from a colleague at our table that his wedding “broke even”! Isn't this the oldest form of #crowdfunding? And before there was #money and #cryptocurrencies, well you contributed by bringing your goat or barrel of rice whiskey or flute. This community funding is still done everywhere in Laos, even for building houses and farming capital, mainly because the banks only started offering loans a few years ago. Probably better for them to stay stuck in the past, so the banks don't lead them into debt.
The wedding took place on a school football field under the stars. Next to the hundreds of round tables with plastic chairs was a huge stage set up with the biggest speakers I have ever seen and a massive dance floor. We entered the field through a flower archway that showcased two portraits of the happy couple in their traditional wear and in their westernized wear. Once we walked through the archway we were greeted by the bride and groom and their whole family! It was like a guard of honour for every guest.
The groom (in his gold suit) escorted us to a table near the dance floor. I was glad to be near the action but soon could feel everyone staring at us. The woman looked beautiful in their array of coloured Sihns (traditional skirt) with matching silk blouses. This is when I realised I am the only one wearing a cleavage bearing spaghetti strapped top and the women were staring almost as much as their husbands. I grabbed my hubby’s hand even though public affection is frowned upon in Buddhist culture.
The table was set with local favourite dishes but I could not help but think that it has been out there in the 35 degree heat for I don’t know how long. Also on the table was beer Lao, soft drinks and water. A waiter brought a bucket of ice and so it went the whole night. The empty bottles of beer and empty ice buckets just kept on being replaced. A number of huge water buffalo had been slaughtered and barbecued for the occasion and served up in huge pots on a buffet table. I am sure at one stage a truck pulled in delivering more tables and chairs and more yellow crates of #beer.
And then the speakers woke up. There was a guy talking away for a good ten minutes in Lao at maximum volume and then the music started. The wedding couple did a slow dance moving mostly their hands and not touching each other. After this some women gathered and did a beautiful line dance. Just as I thought everyone had forgotten about the “falang” couple at the show an elderly lady walked up to me and gestured to dance. Not wanting to offend her, I let her lead me to the dance floor.
I tried my best not to make eye contact with anyone, thinking this is the first time a grandma has asked me to dance. The crowd formed two circles: inner circle was men, outer circle was women. I was dancing in one and my “partner” in the other. Finally the music stopped and I made the traditional nod with hands together at the heart. I was just about to step off the floor when an elderly gentleman grabbed my arm. I just could not say no and have him lose face in front of his friends so back on the dance floor it was. The sweat was now running down my face (probably my mascara too) and I no longer felt embarrassed about my naked arms.
This carried on for what felt like forever. Every time I tried to get back to the table the next guy would motion me to stay. At one point I saw my husband being escorted onto the floor and having to dance with one girl after the next. Men were shoving their wives into his arms saying dance dance dance! The beer was flowing and the smiles were getting bigger. Two men even gave me 5000 Kip each for dancing with them. This was weird and I felt a bit cheap as this is not even 1 USD! Hubby and I tried to work our way towards each other but this was harder than expected with more woman now dancing with him. We were definitely the entertainment at the wedding.
Finally a couple we know came to our rescue and called us off the floor to go home. Strangely we really enjoyed ourselves. We stared in awe at the Lao people and their way of celebrating as much as they stared at us Westerners with light skin and light hair. We felt honoured to be invited to a traditional wedding and we will never forget drinking whiskey from golden goblets with the bridal couple. We wish them only happiness!
I must say although it was an unforgettable experience, I missed some of our western traditional moments, there was no cake in site, no tossing of the garter and I would have loved a glass of bubbles! But hey, a western style wedding for over a 1000 people would've cost a number of 
