Friends are really the essence of life. We all need them, and you cannot deny that.
During our lives we meet people, we spend some time with them, and only a few become our real friends.
The most interesting type of friendship though is between guys and girls. It is a unique combination of fire and ice. Evidently both of us have some common interests, values and activities that we love to share with each other. In fact, this is really important to have, create and develop.
But sometimes because opposite sex was primarily created to be different, we tend to have some feelings that are beyond friendship. I don’t know about you but I experience that a lot.
So let me share one story that you may or may not relate
It was a girl who I met at English speaking club. Her name is Lilia. Both of us are from Ukraine, thus we need to practice speaking, otherwise it all will be gone.
Anyway, we met for the first time, and then I haven’t seen her anymore but deep down I wanted to meet her again just because it was so awesome conversation.
Finally, after some period of time I found her again at speaking club but in different location. I was really excited and was trying to figure out the way to exchange contacts.
Fortunately for me, at that time I started to write poems, and I decided to share a couple of them with her. Astonishingly, she loved it, and we exchanged contacts. Then there were a lot of meetings together at different places. Gradually we became friends, and it was all amazing. The reason why we became friends, and didn't started dating is because we have 5 years gap (I am 21, she is 26). She is a concerned about this like most of the girls. I totally got it.
However recently she had a vacation, and we both went to Odessa, a lovely place in Ukraine with a black sea and extraordinary people.
The time that we spent together was magnificent. We were hiking, swimming (actually the water was so cold, we just were diving), playing some weird games and so forth. What can I tell, I will miss that time. See, that exactly what was missing from my life – a genuine friend that I can have lots of fun with.
*That's me and Lilia in Odessa
In any case during those several days I became more attached or dependent on this person, and to be honest I felt the same from her side.
The issue or maybe it’s okay
I don’t know about you but I have that issue. When I spend some time with a girl, I mean we live or study, and do everything together, feelings appears. Initially they may be almost invisible but overtime they compound, and you start to experience new kind of emotions that lead to new kind of actions. You start to flirt, look at each other differently, touch and hug in way that was not present before. Interesting.
It turns out this is how our brain has evolved. It requires social interactions and connections. That’s not my personal opinion but decades of studies of neuroscientists.
However what’s the deal with the opposite sex attraction? Where is this coming from? Chemistry, hormones, our need to love and be loved, Venus and Mars stuff, magic? I guess everybody will have a distinct answer that will depend on their beliefs and experiences.
What’s my point?
My point is that I do believe friendship between man and women exists. What I found though is that the amount of time you spend together matters.
Think about it, where the most of relationships appear? School, college, work, roommates. It is proven by society and movies as well. Of course lots of people meet each other in the bar or some kind of party but the statistics usually don’t lie.
The story with my ex
Here is another story that approves my theory.
3 years ago when I finished college, my ex-girlfriend Lera and my best friend Andrey went to study in Poland. It was all cool, I was so glad for them. Obviously they live together because it’s cheaper and they know each other already, which is a nice bonus.
However recently I heard that the guy moved from Lera and I was wondering why. Eventually Lera’s friend told me that they were dating all of the time that they were living together. What a surprise :)
I was not pissed or something. It was just weird that any of them didn’t tell me. I guess they just didn’t want to disappoint me. Nevermind.
Cruise ships
Another clear example is cruise lines, especially those who work there. Just imagine, you are placed in the city that is so small, everybody knows about each other. It is inevitable that you will have some sort of affair with somebody. You work, you play, you live and travel together. It is a perfect combination.
See, people are really dependent on each other. Occasionally they create some excuses of why they don’t need or want to have a relationships but that all is BS. People were, are and will be social creatures, that’s why friendships and intimate relationships is all we need to survive.
Check out my other posts below.
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Poetry:
#relationships #friendships #philosophy #opinion #ukraine #odessa #travel #writing #blog