The secret of self-love is... that there is no secret! Loving yourself is a process that can take a lifetime. It's gradual, has ups and downs and regressions. However, once you find it, it is the most satisfying feeling you will ever feel.
In my case, I've had trouble with my weight all my life. I've been thin, fat, a middle point between the two; in short, I've had to learn to reconcile myself with the idea that my body changes constantly and I'll definitely never be skinny. Once I understood that this was not bad, but simply my way of being, that this is how I am and can be beautiful in this way, I felt a liberation from all the notions I had throughout my life.
You grow up watching commercials of slim models parading around in clothes made just for them, you see them happy and wanted by men, admired by everyone around them. But the reality is very different. Real women are not those who appear on billboards, with bodies retouched with Photoshop, zero cellulite and stretch marks.
"Real women" are of all sizes, sizes and shapes. We are tall, short, fat, thin, with an hourglass, pear, or apple-shaped body. We have short, long, curly, straight hair; we are brunettes, redheads, blondes. We're just women.
One of the most satisfying experiences I have had is learning American Tribal Style and dancing with my friends. There I understood that to practice belly dance you don't have to have a "perfect" body. All you have to do is feel the music, connect with your mates and enjoy all the movements your body can do.
I won't say it's easy. Sometimes my anxiety and insecurity overwhelm me. There are days when I feel disdain for some parts of my body, or I reproach what I see in the mirror. The important thing is to remember everything you have learned, everything you have experienced and get back on your feet, shake off the prejudices in your head and remember that your beauty is there, it exists and you are the only person who sabotages you.
When you dive into the complexes, think carefully, "How do people who love me see me?" "Why have my partners been attracted to me physically?" You will discover that most of the time, you are your own worst judge, and when you think you look terrible, other people see you as beautiful.
Get up every day and when you look in the mirror, give yourself a compliment. Don't be afraid to see the beauty in you or to recognize it, or even to brag about it.
"I'm sexy and I know it!"
