WOULD YOU CHOOSE LOVE OR MONEY
Love ? Money ?
If you fell in love with a poor man would you stay with him because “love always wins ?“
It is sung that love is the best feeling in the world and that those who are lucky enough to experience it are the happiest people in the world. That money should never be compared to love because love is endless and money can’t buy love. (Oh really)
Love is said to be endless, innit ?
Ever heard of divorce ?
Ever heard of breaks and choice ?
Love is more important than money, innit ?
Have you met poor friends and couples ?
If love was all you needed to be happy in life then the poor would be the happiest, most content people on the planet.
Love is not all sweet and rosy and filled with happily ever afters. Wake up and smell the coffee. You have to differentiate between fantasy and reality.
We all are open to self expression; personally, I love “love” (my foes could testify), but in the same vain I know when your financial ground is way above sky limit, this “love” I love, unearths you ! I’m not saying we should dispute “love”, but would you rather chase love in austerity or chase love in affluence.
Over the years the question – “CAN MONEY BUY LOVE” – has been on the repeat in my little-big head; and I’ve come to the conclusion that “Money can actually buy you headways to love”, so my answer is an indirect YES !
My Overviews Are Simple: (money gives you more reasons to be ‘lovable’, making you more likely to eventually find love)
Success is attractive. People are more forgiving, more respectful and pay more attention to powerful and influential people (money gives you that). I don’t say that success will automatically bring you LOVE, but sometimes all it takes is a second closer look to start realizing that you actually like a person. You are more likely to get this “second closer look” if you have money.
Some life experiences are attractive. Think about a very well-read person, who traveled a lot, met a lot of interesting people and have been to many amazing places. S/he has thousands of amazing stories to share. This person never talks about problems at work or raising fuel cost.
Confidence is attractive. Money can make you more confident. You don’t have to prove anything to anybody anymore. You don’t want to compete or bring the ‘money/career talk’ to every conversation.
Having more time improves your chances to find love. You can be in more places, you can spend more time there. You have greater freedom to enjoy your hobbies, find new ones and meet people with similar hobbies.
Health is attractive. Money can definitely buy you greater health. And healthy person is more lovable than a sick one (all else being equal).
Generosity is attractive. It’s much easier to appear generous if you have a lot of money. I say “appear”, because if a person who makes N200,000,000 per month pays for a N20,000 dinner – s/he is not more generous than a person who makes N100,000 per month and treated you to a N1,000 sandwich. N1,000 is way more important for the one who makes only N100,000 per month, but this won’t make you appear “generous”.
So, all else being equal, the points above could make a person more attractive, improving the chances to find love. And how do you get those points above ? – That’s right: you buy them with money. Therefore: in some cases money can buy you LOVE.
To my viewers who are either in any form of relationships and ain’t in the place to make a choice between love and money, so as not to shade your relationships or those who’d choose love over money.
DON’T LET MONEY RUIN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS !
(REFERENCE)
These are little tips to keep you in track.. (Start talking about money right away, particularly if it has been an issue in past relationships). Now, how do you begin talking about the topic of money without damaging what otherwise may be a deeply fulfilling relationship ?
• Make Sure the Issue is Really About Money. Too often, disagreements about money have little to do with money itself and more to do with issues of control, security, self esteem and love. Think carefully as you discuss money issues with your partner to make sure there isn’t a larger problem at the core. Be honest with yourself about how you personally feel about money. Ask yourself how your parents dealt with money, what it meant to you when you were growing up, and how you dealt with it in past relationships. Money is a tangible part of a relationship, so it is easy to project emotional issues onto concrete money matters.
• Find a Neutral Time to Talk Money. Couples don’t usually talk openly about money. The goal with your new partner is to have a calm, relaxed discussion when there’s no particular money issue at hand. Sit down with your partner and have what I call a “money talk.” Together, discuss different money scenarios and how each of you might address or resolve the scenarios (e.g., overdrawn checking account, fired from a high paying job, lost credit card, the pros and cons of joint or separate checking accounts in a committed relationship, etc.). If you have concerns about your new partner’s spending habits, financial decisions or role in managing money, express those thoughts during this talk as well.
Bear in mind that not all people are comfortable talking about money right away in a relationship. Be patient but persistent.
• Understand Your Partner’s Perspective. Studies show that when it comes to money, men and women often have different views. Women see it as a sign of security and stability. They like to save for emergencies and become worried when financial problems arise. Men take more risks with money and see money issues as a threat to their self esteem. Try to understand your partner’s perspective. Compromise is often essential. It is fine to disagree on some issues, but don’t let them get in the way of your overall goals as a couple.
• Set Rules and Limits. Once you become a committed couple, it is important to work together to come up with general spending rules or limits. Couples can pick from a number of possibilities. For instance, you can agree on a threshold amount (like N100,000, N200,000), which you can spend without needing to report or consult one another. Above that, you need to discuss it before the item is purchased. Alternatively, for some couples it is important to keep a budget, which includes tracking all spending on a weekly or monthly basis. Discuss these options with your partner.
Love is important. Don’t ever think it’s’ not. But don’t think for a second you can survive in this century, in this world, only on love with ZERO money.
So yes, I will read your sweet poems, have long late night conversations with you and respond to your pet names with a few creative ones of my own. But if our love cannot permit us to lead a comfortable life and put at least three meals on the table for our children, I’m out.