We are all familiar with our IQ, our intelligence quotient, and I remember being tested when I was a kid with learning difficulties. The results weren't very good for my IQ, and I remember feeling that this test was surely missing something in terms of really understanding what intelligence is. It's hard to say exactly what intelligence is, or why some of us are smarter than others. It is also now very clear that our mental and logical skills are not a very good barometer to really understand the other facets of intelligence that until quite recently have been largely ignored!
We are moving into a new age, a great transition is happening in our world, and it's centered around our hearts. If you look back to some old 1960 - 1970 television programming you will immediately notice some big differences. One thing that stands out to me is just HOW detached these characters were from their own authentic heart based feeling, and instead were totally in their heads, very formal, and I would say pretty unauthentic! Times have changed! These days it's quite common for our most popular television personalities to be extremely emotional, authentic, and with a very strong heart connection. We now live in an emotional age, unrestricted by the tight social norms that used to define our cultures. We are allowed to express ourselves in any way that pleases us and we all have to learn how to deal with it!
I am writing this post because Emotional Intelligence is a missing key from our society that is not yet recognized or taught by our schools or our family. It has, however, been recognized by the corporate world!
"As more and more people accept that emotional intelligence is just as important to professional success as technical ability, organizations are increasingly using it when they hire and promote."
(SOURCE)
I want to explain to you what Emotional Intelligence is, why it is so important to your inner happiness and success, and how to find it! EQ is about how well we handle ourselves and our relationships. It is about self awareness, good decision making, and allows for effective self management. Ultimately EQ is about knowing thy Self, so that you are free from the knee jerk reactions and repercussions in your daily lives. It is about knowing what triggers you, what makes you angry and what causes you take things personally. An emotionally intelligent person will be less reactive and more interactive in a conversation. When you are in control of your emotions, you are acting emotionally intelligent. What it is really about is managing to connect with another person on an intimate level. When we do that, we completely change our relationships and our lives.
As we all know, our emotions are centered around our feelings, and our feelings reside in our heart. We know this, somehow, but who can say how we know this!? There is no obvious proof that our feelings live in our hearts, they are invisible! Yet almost everyone agrees that love and feelings come from our heart!? That knowing, is emotional intelligence. We all have it, and we all use it to different degrees. Most of us, especially women, live with this unspoken inner knowledge without questioning it, and without understanding it either. Since our emotional intelligence lives in our heart, it is based on the feelings of love and compassion. When we live in our minds, and in a world of intellect, we make a heart bypass and ignore our feelings. The extreme of this is a sociopath, who as no regard for other peoples feelings because they have become totally self absorbed and disconnected from their inner wisdom. When we live in our heart space, we are able to harness the great powers of compassion and infinite wisdom and without even trying. When we are connected to our compassion and our universal love, we gain access to great knowledge and interconnectedness. A person who has a high EQ is someone who uses their heart and mind together in harmony.
When we have compassion for another person, we speak to them differently. The tone of our voice is different, our eyes have a softness to them, and our words are kind and encouraging. We want everyone to be happy and succeed and are not focused on a single egocentric goal. The ego is the master of the mind, and our love is the master of the heart. Love is the language of the heart, and it is universal. All life can appreciate love. Anyone who has petted a dog, cat, rabbit, sheep, horse cow, or any animal, knows that animals can communicate and share love with you in the form of touch and feeling. When we can connect with and share compassion with others, we can heal and transform the coldest and most wounded hearts, and in a heartbeat!
I have discovered this so profoundly and with so many different people during my life. I am one of those people who lives in compassion and love, and wants others to be happy and do well. I am also very naturally aware of what people need in order for them to drop their guard, and form a connection. This awareness of what to say, when to say it, and how to say it comes instinctively to someone with a high EQ. That makes life not only very simple, but also very joyous. It also makes many people with a high EQ very successful since others tend to like and appreciate someone who is compassionate and helpful! Life is often about connections, and when we connect and appreciate someone, we suddenly find that we are inspired to support them, help them, and want to give back. That is a part of why someone with a high EQ is likely to do very well in life.
You can visit many websites and read more about emotional intelligence. There is quite a lot of literature around that explains a lot of detail about it and some of it is actually quite logical and head based information. I decided not to make this post to 'heady', and instead bring you the core truth so that you can understand this from your heart as well as your mind. You cannot understand this only from your logical mind, you can only really understand this from your inner knowing. In order reach and connect with this powerful inner knowledge you have to do something to take you out of your head! These days we are drawn more and more into our minds, and we need to make time to get out of it and drop back down into the seat of the heart. The good news is that there are a thousand ways to do this! In fact, almost anything that makes you feel fulfilled and happy will probably do the trick.
Here is a brilliant video to help you understand your EQ
Here is a brilliant video to help you understand your EQ
HELP EVER - HURT NEVER
If you want to understand this in a profound way, then I would like to share one of the best ways I know of to discover the world of emotional intelligence. When we we are serving each other without any thought about self reward, we can jump very quickly and easily into a totally different dynamic. The moment we start to truly help another person without our ego being involved, we forget about ourselves! If we are totally focused on helping someone, and start to connect in a selfless way, the dynamics and feelings of the interactions take on a whole new meaning. In these situations we have a kind of emotional intimacy with ourselves and with the people we are serving. This allows everyone involved to truly accept one another, with all their faults, and instead we feel love and empathy without any judgments! If you want to experience this then just do anything that helps someone and see how you feel! When you really do it from your heart, you will see miracles happen, and you will become charged up with magnetic like joy and happiness.
The way you decide to serve can be as simple as helping someone cross the road. When I used to drive a car, I used to always stop for people and other cars to give way and help them on their way. It always felt so good to do that. They were happy, and that made me feel good .. but not just good.. a whole new level of good. This feeling of joy for helping someone is WAY nicer than the joy I have ever felt from acquiring a possession, or enjoying some food. I have enjoyed all those things with my mind, and whilst they are often quite fun and enjoyable, they don't touch the deep inner feeling of fulfillment that you get from the joy you feel when serving.
To help inspire you, I would like to offer a few ways in which you can serve!
- Help your family.
This can be as simple as offering to do the dishes!
- Donate items to a homeless people.
Taking the time and doing it yourself is the key here. Donating personally to homeless people is even better as you get to connect and experience some emotional intimacy with a stranger. Its not hard to give a homeless person some old clothes!
- Help other people shine.
This is one of my favorites! I love to see other people shine, and can't help but try to help them do so if I see a way to help. This can also be something very simple like a positive comment or advice. It just means taking the time to set aside our own inner dialog so that we can let our heart dialog be heard.
- Listen to a friends problems
It's not always easy to really listen to someone and give them our undivided attention. Bestowing that gift or real presence and attention to a friend or loved one is like medicine for them. Few people have the time or patience to really sit and listen to another, and these days it is more important than ever. SO much so that a LOT of people have to pay someone to take on this role.
- Pay it forward. (my favorite one!)
This is just too much fun! Paying it forward can be the most exciting and playful way to serve others. Being randomly generous is one of the great gifts that we can give to another person. I remember once having an ice cream and coffee in a cafe and totally randomly giving a $60 tip for a $6 bill. I had been lucky that month and had plenty of money and just loved how it felt to give so much money to a total stranger. It was beyond fun!
- Anticipate serving.
Sometimes you spot a moment where something needs to be done, and you have to anticipate it and do something. In those fleeting moments when we make the decision to ignore or serve, consider next time choosing to serve and see what happens! You might be amazing at the connections and luck that this brings back to you!
Now I have shared with you the heart based method to find your own emotional intelligence! Many of you will also want to understand this logically and have some mental process to be able to engage with it. So I would like to introduce to you the key to gaining access to your emotional intelligence using your mind. The jewel here is Self Awareness. This is your ability to recognize an emotion as it happens, and is the key to your EQ. Developing self-awareness requires tuning in to your true feelings. When you have learned to do this you will gain an emotional awareness. You will gain the ability to recognize your own emotions and their effects. In order to tune in you do need to do some work!
To get started you need to learn a bit about self-regulation. When you can self regulate yourself, you reduce the barriers and blocks that impede your journey to your heart space. Some examples of this are:
- Self-control. Managing disruptive impulses.
- Trustworthiness. Maintaining standards of honesty and integrity.
- Conscientiousness. Taking responsibility for your own performance.
- Adaptability. Handling change with flexibility.
- Innovation. Being open to new ideas.
A great video by Daniel Goleman explaining EQ!
Must Watch! More Depth & Understanding!
Acceptance, Loneliness, Boredom, Unworthiness, Envy, and more
Thank you for being here! I truly hope this post has give you some inspiration and understanding of how what emotional intelligence is and why it is so important! Our cultures are mixing up more than ever, and the disparity and inequality in all aspects of life is getting ever greater. It is only when we all start engaging with our emotional intelligence that our world will transform into an even more beautiful and healthy place. If you would like to have a bit of fun and take the EQ quiz to see how emotionally intelligent you are please check this the following link out!:
If you feel this post is valuable, please consider re-steeming it to help spread awareness! Thank you!!!
How Emotionally Intelligent Are You Quiz!
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/ei-quiz.htm
RECCOMENED READING!
- The Leader's Guide to Emotional Intelligence, by Drew Bird
- Emotional Intelligence – Why It Matters More Than IQ, by Daniel Goleman
- Go Suck a Lemon: Strategies for Improving your Emotional Intelligence, by Michael Cornwall
- The Brain and Emotional Intelligence: New Insights, by Daniel Goleman
- Primal Leadership – Daniel Goleman and Richard Boyatzis
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