Hive account@orly, I kind of feel the same way. I spent a lot of time doing math and thinking about life and philosophy in the past, and I didn't understand that this was only one way of looking at reality until I started meditating, although there were some spontaneous experiences of "oneness" or ego dissolution.

Supposedly, meditation brings about an order in your mind and your life that isn't produced by logical thought and decision making alone. I like how you say "whenever I manage to pause" or "get around" thinking.

Thanks, and good luck! I'm still examining this stuff too...