In his book "What You Can Change and What you Can't," Dr. Martin Seligman reviews the extensive research that has been conducted on depression over the last 30 years. Dr. Seligman summarizes his review by noting that learned helplessness (the learned belief that you are not a competent person ) and rumination (repeatedly thinking about problems) are two primary barriers to coping with depression. To improve your coping skills, it becomes important to avoid both of these barriers by taking action that both builds confidence and distracts your mind from the rumination habit.
Step 1
Get physical exercise on a regular basis. Confidence is built as you develop physical strength and improved cardiovascular functioning. Exercise also requires focus (especially if you are learning something new), which prevents your mind from falling into ruminations about your problems.
Step 2
Write in a planning journal. Get a notebook with lots of pages and just start writing, not about your problems or feelings, but about all the things you hope to accomplish and the steps you need to take to get there. It builds confidence as you begin to see that you do know how to get things done after all.
Step 3
Go to social events and family functions. A sense of closeness, understanding and belonging go a long way in combating depression. Being around others gives you the opportunity to build social competence and is a great break from reviewing problems and difficulties.
Step 4
Avoid extended periods of time engaged in passive entertainment. Watching television or playing computer games for several hours only takes up valuable time that you could use to actively engage in life.
Step 5
Practice a hobby or volunteer your time. Learning how to practice a new hobby is a great way to build confidence and break the rumination habit with the challenge to learn new things. Volunteer work gives you a sense of how effective you can be. Gratitude from others and a sense of common cause also bring greater meaning to one's life.
Step 6
Write letters to family and friends. Not only does this prevent you from spending your time ruminating about your problems, it also strengthens the relationships you have -- proving more opportunities for social events.
Step 7
Ask for advice. Don't be afraid of asking for advice from those around you who are confident. Just as helplessness was learned, so too can confidence be learned. Ask people about their outlook on challenges. Be open to this advice and avoid being defensive.
References
Martin E. Seligman, Ph.D; "What You Can Change and What You Can't"
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