Lots of things have happened to me. When I was six I found a pound under my pillow, where I’d hidden my first lost tooth. When I was eleven a pigeon pood on my left thumb. When I was seventeen I won £100 on a scratch card and two months later my mum died. Shit happens, you learn - that’s the general pattern. But how much more could we learn if we didn’t wait? If we actually deliberately and actively sought shit out?
After letting shit happen to me inadvertently for nineteen and a half years, that’s exactly what I did; I finally set off on my own personal advertent shit-seeking quest. And boy did I find what I was looking for! Good shit, bad shit, adrenaline-pumped shit, religious shit, healthy and unhealthy shit, budget shit and five-star shit, a whole spectrum of shit I didn’t even know existed, and all from just half a year’s globe trotting.
Along the way I met people who were from different walks of life and had their own stories to tell. I found that in hearing them, or snippets of them, my ego became undone. To cut a long story short, I came to the realisation that no matter how far and wide I took my search, I could never experience everything personally; I would need to find a way of learning from experiences which were not my own. So, without further ado, my favourite lesson yet: I have learned to live vicariously. The Cambridge dictionary definition of vicarious is: ‘Experienced as a result of watching, or listening to, or reading about the activities of other people, rather than by doing the activities yourself.’ By practicing this, the potential lessons to be learned from my 2017 shit-seeking quest increased dramatically, because now there was a doorway to lessons learned from vicarious shit too… I was excited.
My quest was on the clock, and I soon became grateful to how travelling seemed to open me and those I met up. We connected quickly and deeply, and questions felt invited. I was learning so much from each person and began writing bits down. It was a rainy day in Tofino, I was sat in a delightful new bakery with a delightful new companion and we were eating warm sugary treats and painting each others faces, when I first asked what was to become my million dollar question. "If you could only take one lesson away from all of your travels, to share with your friends and family… What would it be?” Her answer absolutely inspired me, not because of how true it rang, but because of where it had come from inside her - she really meant it, and I felt its value. I was suddenly conscious that although I was learning from all of these people, I was only really scratching the surface! I finally understood that if you want something, usually you have to ask. I wanted to know what the worlds most important lessons were; the lessons that come from individual and unique experiences; the same experiences I had previously recognised I could never have every one of. So I began asking.
Every answer was different and insightful, every single one held so much value (as I’m sure you will see). Here I will share with you my favourite fifteen. I implore you to consider Hana’s lesson, which I have found to be unequivocally undebatable - and it includes you! Share your own lessons and don’t be afraid to ask for whatever you are wanting. What’s the worst that could happen?
My favourite 15 No.1 lessons from solo travellers:
Fran, Austria - Fly! Spread your wings and let yourself be the main character in your life. Don't let anybody else live it for you, be your own priority.
Charlie, Australia - Becoming a minimalist. Relying on yourself and not much else, learning how to survive with nothing. Teaches you a lot.
Anna, Germany - Don't plan anything; anything I've planned hasn't happened and I've enjoyed all the moments I haven't planned. You can't plan for how you'll feel in a moment that hasn't happened yet. My best moments were unplanned and my worst were induced by expectation.
Luca, Quebec - Change is okay.
Hana, Indonesia - You can learn something from everyone you meet.
Louis Philip, Quebec - All the things I end up being or doing, are a result of all the other things I have done and been.
Mary, Germany - Do what makes you happy! I spent my life making other people happy and then I went travelling and was on my own so the only person I had to make happy was myself and I realised I'd forgotten how. Now I've learned how to be happy with me!
Thomas, Belgium - I can do more than I thought.
Olivia, Sweden - You don't have to listen to people's advice, especially when you didn’t ask for it.
Sam, Alberta - Don't be shy.
Laura, Belgium - Don't limit yourself. The only limitations are those you place on yourself. The universe is a place of infinity, so explore whatever desires your attention.
Luke, Australia - You can have faith in humans.
Bianca, South Africa - I think my biggest thing would be that often happiness is a decision. Often you can choose to be happy.
Natalie, Germany - Cliche but life is too short, just do it, especially if you're scared to do it.
Shaun, England - Spend more time doing nothing. Some of the best times I’ve had were not spent running around but sitting doing nothing; taking time to absorb.