Most people might not know but explaining a specific word does not only depend on the meaning but the situation that surrounds it. I mean we all know what holidays means right? it is that time you choose or it is chosen for you, you go out with friends and family. It is one of the words that even an elementary school kid smiles at whenever it is mentioned, it means finally a break from all sort of activities. That is the general meaning of holidays but the more we grew older, the more complex the definition becomes.
What are my plans for the next holiday? Well if you ask me this question few weeks ago, I would have given a thousand set of plans but it is funny how people's perspective can change based on environment. Few weeks back I was still serving, it is starting to feel like it was six months ago. I couldn't wait to finish my NYSC journey based on some unexpected challenges I faced in the community. Eventually I kind of grew fond of the community but when it comes to the challenges that comes with living in the community, it is something a person cannot easily get used to.
I mean you can tolerate it for the moment. I discovered humans ability to tolerate challenges depends on a person's willingness to adapt. Before I left the community I said to myself, if I'm lucky enough to make it out of the community in one piece, the moment I'm done, I would stay at home for probably a month or two before embarking on anything new. That is my own form of granting myself some time to rest and healing from all sort of trauma I might have suffered in the community.
Just like I expected, I made it out of the community in one piece, something I'm sincerely grateful for. I came back before the Easter celebration, coming from a Christian family, it is always a grand ceremony. I wouldn't say I had any kind of expectations or plans for the Easter celebration apart from what it was. The only thing my mind was fixated on while coming back is to have enough rest, eat as much as I can because I have nearly forgotten the taste of my favourite dishes. It is what happens when you live in a community that only survive on local food.
The Easter rumble ended and finally I can embark on what I have planned for my a month worth of rest. Sincerely, I think humans shouldn't make plans because the way things changes drastically, it is shocking. Nothing went according to plan, not because anything out of the ordinary occurred to disturb my plans, I just couldn't do the things I have in mind. When I say things I have in mind, things like going out but not with friends. I just wanted to go out a couple of times, go to my favourite eateries and have a delicious meal.
I did go out once but what I came back with was unexpected. It is strange how the city suddenly feels too crowded for me, on my way back, I find it too difficult to deal with the noise and stress that comes with Lagos transportation system. I can't remember the last time I experienced traffic. In the village I just came back from, I can walk back and forth around different communities and the cars I would see passing would be less that seven.
I don't know if it was my body trying to adjust to city life again but I came back feeling extremely exhausted and I was very close to breaking down. Ever since then I have not tried to step out of my house. No one is asking be anything, though they know something feels off but I have always been the sensitive type, my parents might have noticed the reason behind my disgruntled expression. I'm kind of glad no one is hovering around me with questions I don't have answers for.
Since I'm currently still unemployed at the moment, I have nothing pressuring me to take a trip outside the comfort of my home. From the looks of it, it seems my self sanctioned holiday will be with my family and excluding friends. That seems to be the plan at the moment.
How long will it take this time? Frankly speaking, I can't really say. My current holiday length is based on my employment status, the moment I seek employment, my holiday automatically ends. It kind of feels great this way, at least I know I'm in control of how and when my holiday ends.
This write-up was inspired by weekly featured content titled This holiday in hive learners community.
Cover image - 𝖣𝖾𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝗎𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗏𝖺
Image 1 - All images are mine
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