There are only but a handful of moments throughout my life in which I felt the true meaning of fear. That dreaded anticipation of the unknown, control of some precarious situation in your life being left to the hands of fate, you know the drill. And by far, one of those times was the day Aubrey turned up at my doorstep, demanding answers in his own deranged manner...
"I saw you take it." He began, grinning with eyes almost clenched shut. "Mind telling me why?"
He stank. I recall it clearly. A visceral odour emanating from the front opening of his lapel black jacket. In addition to that miraculously white buttoned shirt he wore underneath. It was akin to something Leatherface himself would have worn. And this unholy specimen now was standing in my doorway, an unwanted intruder into my world via the damned stupidity of the cowering figure beside me called Alf. Oh you better believe it, we were all shit scared at this point. But I took no prisoners and didn't hold back.
"It wasn't me. I swear." My voice came out a little shriller than expected. "But here, please accept my apologies and have it back."
I offered it up to him by wheeling it ever so slightly toward the door. Hoping he'd willingly accept and help rectify this most heinous of circumstances. I prayed for this to be over soon and let everything revert back to normality once more, but the powers that be had other plans for us that night.
"You know?" He chirped, taking a moment to eye each one of us up as he spoke. "Let's just call it an early Christmas present. You keep it."
I kid you not. He actually said that. I could have fainted there and then, but somehow managed to hold my ground. At almost the very same instant, Alf seemed to have been overcome with an inner belief in himself. The courageous warrior within manifested by he stepping forward in defiance. Alas, the voice did not echo those same sentiments. "I took you bike, Aubrey" He squeaked. "I'm really sorry. I just thought it was, like, abandoned on the roadside and..." **Aubrey simply held his palm out in the air. For the first time, I had the odious honour of studying the front of his hand up close and personal. Weird semi-circles followed by rows of, what appeared to be, hieroglyphic in nature. All carved out in blue biro. That alone disturbed me more than anything else so far.
"Say no more, guys. I insist. Just have this gift. It's on me."
His unusually cordial disposition, was most unsettling. I wanted nothing more than this ghastly abomination out of our lives and sent back to it's original dwellings. Next door. But the die was cast and the ball was firmly in his court. And looked like it might stay there for a while too. Hand still raised, he backed off and shuffled back down the path, disappearing into the night air like some hideous apparition. On pure instinct alone, I slammed the front door shut.
"What the hell are we gonna do now?" Alf squealed, running a hand over his head.
"I have no idea. This is all your fault, you prick." I growled back. But his plain-to-see sorrowful demeanour caused me to breathe out a sigh of reconciliation in an attempt to move forward. "OK, Alf. What's done is done. But you know this is not the end of it, right? He's a raving lunatic and unless we return his two-wheeled trophy, he'll be looking for revenge."
"I say let's leave it for now. What else can we do?" Looch chimed in. "I mean, maybe... He'll forget about it?"
"Well, I doubt it, man." I replied. "I mean, I'm still in shock hat he possesses some semblance of thought processing, let alone even being able to communicate with us. This is a bad sign, guys. Aubrey can think for itself!"
But, with all the stressful drama of that evening, the night had to be abruptly cut short. The boys returned home, leaving me with my overactive contemplations of what dire consequences lay in wait. Well, we all hadn't long to find out...
(To be continued...)
