If you were to ask me twenty, fifteen or even ten years ago if I would marry some island girl on the complete opposite side of the world as myself, I would have laughed and called you crazy.
Why in the world would I even think about doing that would most likely have been my response ...
I grew up in the midwest of the good ole USofA where there are a plethora of lovely intelligent single ladies to "put a ring on it." A matter of fact I was engaged to one of those sweet straight from the farm gals who would be the perfect wife, mother, and a hard working career oriented woman that many men desire to be with - and I am sure she and her man are now perfectly happy.
Truth be told I was never happy with any of the relationships I had with any woman until I met an island girl, or so truthfully sung by Marus Davis- "My Filipina Girl."
I have always been slightly old fashioned in my thoughts, and I felt the family dynamics and relationships in the US had disintegrated into a throwaway society. With an estimated 40-50 percent divorce rate and our shopping habits of buying items from a mass market like Walmart of mostly short-term throwaway items I personally felt the need to find a life long companion with similar ideals as myself. Values such as if there is something wrong or broken, you work to fix it and continue to use it rather than throw it away taking the easy way out. In another word, I wanted someone who would commit to me and I would them for a lifetime.
In 2007 I was easily persuaded to take a vacation to some islands on the other side of the world by some family and friends. With very little resistant to the arm twist I was put in I said, "ok let's go." After all, I was in a relationship I wasn't so eager to carry on with(although truthfully I wasn't going there looking for a new flame), I had never taken a vacation in my working adult life (which was about 12 years at this point), and I had never left the confines of the US in my life.
Within two weeks of this heavy-handed demand, myself, a friend and a family member were on a flight to the Philippines. My plan was to spend most of my time laying on some beach like the one below (this is a photo taken by me on a very tiny island called "Kalanggaman Island) relaxing, enjoying the scenery and drinking some foreign beer.
Somewhere around the fifth day of relaxing on some beach on an island, I couldn't even pronounce back then, I was introduced to some 4 foot 9, black haired - brown eyed girl who could remarkably carry on a conversation with me in English. I will be honest, I never really was a believer in love at first sight, but if there was such a thing it was then and there. For the remaining 3 and half weeks of my vacation, her and I were connected in deep conversation daily.
Several Trips to The Philippines Later
Fast forward a year and I found myself in a dilemma. After 3 more trips to the Philippines, a relationship ended, and a new one started I found myself contemplating what to do. I started to really wonder if I went cucu for coco puffs- you remember the part where I said I would have called you crazy if you would have slightly suggested I would marry a girl on the other side of the ocean?
There seems to be a stigma in the US that a woman immigrating to the US must be coming here for the sex trade industry, for a green card, or she was found on page 157 on some mail order bride catalog. You would be surprised (or maybe you wouldn't) how many times we have got the mail order bride comment in the past 7 years since she first arrived to the US.
At this point, we had to make a decision. Do I move to the Philippines, or does she try to immigrate to the US so we could spend real time together to move forward with the relationship? After many sleepless nights, hours of research on the immigration process to the US, we decided to move forward with a K-1 Visa (Fiancee' Visa). After all, we were still both young and finding a job as an American in the Philippines is nearly impossible. So for the betterment of our future we chose her coming here.
This is the start of the frustration for both of us. If you have never dealt with USCIS and immigration you would not realize how demanding and expensive the whole process can be.
Quick Rundown of the US Immigration Process (K-1 Fiancee' Visa)
It all starts with the US citizen submitting an application on behalf of his or her fiancee'. As you wait months for an approval (or denial ) you spend many more sleepless nights wondering what could be taking so long. When you finally get that approval letter the process for the fiancee' begins in her or his home country of scouring for many documents preparing for an interview and a medical exam.
Each country is quite different during this process, for the Philippines, it can be quite irritating as the Philippine government seems to just love paperwork and requiring, even more, paperwork before you can get the paperwork you first sought. But we were in this for the long haul and together.
A half a year later, the interview and medical is complete and she is on a flight to the US where finally we can get started on a normal life as a couple.
But in our case first comes marriage, then a baby in a baby carriage, literally. Eleven months after arriving in the US we are blessed with our first son. It is around this time we need to take care of the next step in the immigration process of applying yet again for what is called Adjustment of Status, granting her permanent residency in the US.
After yet another interview and many months of waiting, she is approved and we are good for at least 3 years of immigration free paperwork. At the 3 year mark, we were able to apply for US citizenship, however, we elected to wait and applied at the 5-year mark of residency.
Depending on personal circumstances applying for citizenship can be done anywhere from 2-5 years after arriving in the United States in some visas such as K-1's.
Another chunk of change and months of waiting again she is finally asked to come in for biometrics ( fingerprints) and then another month or so later is asked to come in for an Interview, English reading and writing, and civics test.
It amazes me how much an immigrant is expected to know for the civics portion, many kids coming out of high school might not even know many of the questions they require them to know. Its actually quite impressive how knowledgeable an immigrant becomes during the process of becoming a US citizen.
And Finally The Oath and Swearing in Ceremony
Just one month shy of 7 years, thousands of dollars later, months and months of agony in limbo, and 2 boys later I am proud to present one of today's newest US Citizens. I am truly proud of my wife, she sacrificed moving half way across the world being away from her very own blood for the sake of our relationship. She is an amazing person, wife, and mother. Like thousands of other immigrants before us is proud to be a US Citizen.
In her own words today
"I will always be a Filipino, but now I am a US Citizen - the country I love."
For me personally, today was not only a moment of honor and admiration for my wife, it was a reflection of how lucky I was to be born in this country. I might not always like what the government does, I might hate being taxed, and many other things, but I do know I can still be patriotic and love this land and the people of this country.
Today there was 533 people sworn in at my wife's ceremony from 81 different countries, it reminded me that the US was built over the past 200+ years from the blood sweat and tears of immigrants and still is moving forward today based on those same principals.
With that said my wife and I both leave you with this little phrase you might all know ...
"We're proud to be an American, where at least we know we are free."
Fat-Like-Buddha (James)