Dusk hanging at the end of the afternoon. Jingganya still I can enjoy lamat2 while sipping Hans coffee blend. I myself still reverently follow every corner of the remaining memories. Lamat2 I heard Hans's footsteps approaching.
"Tis, I want to go out, do not you want to go?"
"Hans, I'm here for a while, and I'm afraid the call to prayer is not it?" I asked back.
"Well, I'm going, Lo here, if there are any phone calls or Katya". Hans passed with a smile. There was nothing left of me and an empty house covered with a thick petrichor scent at the end of dusk. It was just yesterday that I enjoyed this syahdu atmosphere with Ben. A year or two ago? I do not know, I'm a little hard to remember these days.
If I were not selfish and Ben was able to erode his ambition, maybe everything was still okay. Me and he may still be able to enjoy coffee together while waiting for the sunset. Or we hugged together in bed waiting for the sun to rise. Kandas, it's all over.
I should have realized from the beginning that Ben had appeared and expressed his seriousness, something that Ben had tried to cover up. But I'm too naive as a woman, considering Ben's seriousness is a confession. The love form of a man who really love dies to me. Though there is no seriousness at all intention, except camouflage only.
Just try that time I approve Katya words that told me to think again, maybe not this happened. Want to say what else, rice has now become porridge. Ben is not a tough male male who can survive in holy ties. He could not cover it all any longer. Two years turned out to be more than enough for him to disprove all, deceiving the world. I became one of the victims, I helped Ben to deceive the world, who he really was.
The maghrib call to prayer began to grow slowly. I tried to get up and cut off all my thoughts. It seemed unfair that I delayed my meeting with the Creator and kept dwelling on Ben's reflection. Enough, I just need my God now, not that damn human who claims that man.
With a slow step I headed to the bathroom for ablution. I lay the prayer mat and put on a mukena while arranging a broken heart into pieces. In the silence of my meeting and the Creator, I found the house, home to the most comfortable home.