“Why would you pick me? You’re smooth. I bet that’s how you get all the girls. I really don’t want to talk to you.”
You’ve been on a ride with him these past seven days. You’ve tried to walk in his shoes. Sometimes they didn’t fit. Sometimes you had issues with the lace. You tried to open up to him. You took his seeds in, but did they grow? You felt you could get to know him better that way. I know, but how well is that turning out? He is a book — a somewhat complicated one. He has a story and he has piqued your interest already. He could be you and he wants you to get him. Despite the fact that he appears to be written in Ancient Greek and Latin.
He doesn’t “fall in love”. He is love. Legend has it that “…his type of love is like the movies.” Unreal. He knows this. He knows a few more things but still becomes uncertain every now and then. He can light up your world; he’s got some special superpowers but with every new day, he gets cautious. He’s a superhero with way more heart than he needs. He’s fragile. Yes he is. He claims to have been heartbroken more times than everyone in the world combined.
Would you beautify or crucify?
Even though he has all these doubts and clouds of uncertainty hovering over him, he decides to become prey once again. He believes if you let him, you can make him be super again. He’s in his most vulnerable state, laying bare before you. He surrenders all. No forming hard guy. Rumor has it that you’re amazing with the brush or anything of that sort. He’s trusting you to work your magic.
Show me off to the world. In your studio let me glow.
As you begin to work your magic, you lay bare to him. He sees you as vulnerable. You fumble with the brush. You make mistakes. He watches. Then just when he starts to dream of a “You. Me. Us”, you retreat into your shell. All he sees, no matter how hard he tries, is the mighty wall you locked yourself behind. He’s hurt. Vulnerability is normal to him. Apparently, it was weird to you. The more “flaws” he saw in you, the more he wanted to be with you. You started already, don’t stop now.
The world deserves a show. Why stop at just a scene?
His pleas fall on deaf ears — or maybe reluctant ears. You’re still locked up behind those walls. The world means nothing to him anymore. He has let himself down again. As always. He thinks back to the time the acceptable number of kids was reached. The smile on your face and genuine joy you were radiating. “What could have gone wrong?”. His gentle soul was beginning to lose the plot. Good guys always lose. He was down, really down but this voice kept screaming silently “Don’t Change”.
Surely just an eclipse and this too shall pass. You, my sun, will shine again cos tough times don’t last.
He would listen partially to this voice. He would try to run away from it all. He would scream “Leave me be” every time thoughts of going back come to pay him a visit. Aggression will become his style of defense and he’ll begin to retreat into his shell — like you did. Something will be different this time though. The thoughts of you won’t let him be. This is not who he is. He has no shell to retreat to. He lets himself go and finds his path leading to you once again.
Quietly the deafening silence makes way. In this cave. I am led like a bride down the aisle.
You’re all he wants. His heart feels at home with you. His head thinks he’s a prisoner of you. He’s bound by your love. Like chains around a tiger, you tame him. He wants to understand your language. He wants to make you happy. He can’t wait to forge that chemistry with you so that you can take him out and show him off to your friends. He’s clay. You’re the potter. Every moment of the molding process gives him life. That’s until he realizes the possibility of a potter spending days molding a piece and still discarding it. Tears roll down his cheeks as he reads these words over and over. The first time words will evoke this much emotion. He’s scared.
You’re slowly molding me into your masterpiece. I can only hope you will keep me when you’re done.
Today he is happy. You made him. So he’s chilling, thinking back to not too long ago when he went on a blind date. It was indeed a day that shouldn’t have been. Her pictures were cute. She looked like she could be a good friend. You weren’t talking to him. He was just going to hang out with her. Totally harmless. He got there. She got there. He saw her. They never met. It was funny. He got to see Moana tho — alone. A few days later he got thinking. What if the story didn’t turn out that way? Then he penned down a crazy scenario he hopes never happens.
I held that gaze for a little too long and had to plant a kiss. Now I’m writing this wishing that day had never been.