We all came into this world as individuals and before we began to meet with others, we had learned to do just fine on our own. This is the truth and it’s a claim many people run to when they’re trying to get you off their back but we all know that in truth, life is wired in a weird way.
The way human relationships work feels like you drop everything you were traveling with once you get to a stop that’s going to set you in a different direction. So, yes you’ve been doing fine on your own but you met someone and then your life set out on a different path; a double lane path because it’s now more than just you.
Switching to a double lane path is not a bad thing. It’s not you losing your identity because of someone else. It’s not you giving up yourself to suit someone else. It’s not you not having a mind of your own. It’s not you being stupid.
It’s you recognizing that some things need to change to accommodate the new reality and provide for a smooth experience.
Because life seems to start afresh at stops like this, you soon dedicate your entire being to this new experience and forget just how you used to be fine on your own. I’m not really certain if this is a good or bad thing but it is what it is.
You meet someone and they become everything to you. They light up your day and ignite fires inside you. They keep you on your toes and motivate you to be better than you were. They have all these positive effects on you until...
When someone becomes the source of your joy, they can very easily become the source of your sadness. It’s very simple. It’s life and we’ve been living with it since we were born. Let’s assume you can’t remember many of your antics as a toddler, you must have seen toddlers around you. There’s always a time when a toddler starts to cry uncontrollably and then you hand them their favorite toy and the cry comes to an abrupt end. As long as the toy remains with them, they’re fine but the moment you take that toy away, the cry resumes.
The toy is their source of happiness. It calms them down when nobody else can. It brings a joy and excitement that can’t really be described. It does all these and everyone is happy because having something that makes you happy isn’t a bad thing; in fact, everyone else around you feels relieved when you’re occupied with your toy. Who doesn’t want a peaceful world where everyone is happy? 🤷🏽♂️
The problem starts when your source of happiness is no longer available for whatever reason. They’re not necessarily doing anything evil to you but they’re just not available. They’re probably not ignoring you and are genuinely busy but they’re not available. So like the toddler we talked about earlier, your world comes crashing down, all hell is let loose and nothing else matters.
Most times, it might look like you’re the only one with this “problem” but I think it’s fair to say that it happens to everyone albeit at different times.
Is it a bad thing to have someone in your life that gets you so excited? I don’t really think so but then the flip side is not a fun place to be at all.
You should note that this doesn’t apply to human relationships alone. Some people’s source of happiness is in their career or the things they own. What happens when these things are not available for one reason or the other?
How do you manage this situation? Are these things just a happy emoji you hide behind? Are you truly happy on your own?