Falling in love at 30?
We’ve always heard that love knows no age, yet after a certain age, we can’t call just any feeling “love”—especially after we’ve lived a somewhat turbulent life marked by relentless struggles and significant hardships, since at that point it becomes a bit easier to confuse feelings with needs.
I’ve always believed that age isn’t important in many situations and moments, especially when it comes to seeking happiness—I’ve always held to the idea that it’s never too late. But we must also recognize that as we age, we accumulate experiences and situations that trap us in a sense of static permanence. In other words, sometimes we’re so accustomed to our routines that it becomes very difficult to see the way forward on these uncertain paths. And when all of this is mixed all this with feelings of love, affection, and respect, along with the natural human need, it becomes very complicated to create a healthy environment.
Obviously, whoever is reading this is reading it completely out of context, trying to understand what I mean and what I’m talking about. Let me explain this very quickly.
Since I’ve been on the blockchain platform, I’ve been in three romantic relationships; this is currently number four, and it’s the one with the most risks and difficulties to face. And this isn’t just because of me—it’s also because of her and her beautiful child. Being in a relationship right now is a total commitment and, above all, a huge responsibility—something that’s offset day to day by shared feelings, moments, and those little contrasts that brighten our lives. But once this reaches its peak, the months start to pass, and the issues and problems begin to pile up—that’s when the situation gets complicated because you don’t know whether to walk away and let everyone go their separate ways as they should, or to give it 100% even if you have doubts, even if you’re unsure, but it’s so nice to say and think of it this way when we look at it from the outside, when we’re that third party and not the ones living this experience face-to-face and head-on. I’m a man of 30 now; I don’t have a stable job, nor do I have everything I need because my personal financial and economic situation is a total mess—and I say “personal” so as not to talk about the country in general, since I know there are many people who are doing very well, but I’ve made so many bad decisions that today I find myself drowning in this need and in these struggles—on days when I went up to three days without eating, without consuming any food other than water. I feel like I don’t have enough strength to take charge, to be responsible and self-sufficient for a third person, and that’s why this post, deep down, makes me feel like a coward. But I hope you can also understand that you, my love, are worth so much more than this. You shouldn’t wait for anyone; you should never wait for another person. I’ve told you this before, and I assure you, I care deeply for you and your little daughter as well. And it’s impossible for me to ask you for more time because you’ve already given me time. You’ve seen who I am, and even so, you decided to stay. For now, I’m grateful that you’re close to me. I hope you can also understand what I might be feeling.
I’ve told you before that everything will get better and that everything will change if I put in the effort for a couple of days, but then there’s the real situation in the country and my current unemployment, so it’s impossible to focus solely on you and what you deserve—for the sake of my own sanity and yours. The best part is that you came into my life when I least expected it, but even so, I think this should come to an end.