The fear of going to bed usually appears between 2 and 4 years of age since it is the stage in which the imagination of children develops. However, since children are still not able to distinguish well between reality and fantasy, they think that monsters, dragons and other villains can harm them.
The time to go to bed is especially complicated as another potentially frightening element is added: darkness. If we add to this the nightmares, we have the perfect ingredients to develop a proper somnophobia.
What is somniphobia?
Somniphobia is a psychological disorder that is characterized by an irrational and excessive fear at the prospect of sleeping. Those who suffer, panic because they believe that something terrible will happen to them while they sleep. In fact, this disorder is not exclusive of childhood age, it also appears in adulthood. Although these people may be aware that their fear is not rational, they can not avoid it.
In young children, fear of sleep can be considered evolutionary and normal, which means that fear disappears as the child grows and learns to differentiate reality from fantasy. At 8 years old most children are no longer afraid to sleep. However, in some cases that does not happen and the fear ends up being maladaptive, causing great discomfort and suffering in the child. In that case you can talk about a phobia.
In fact, somniphobia can end up affecting the child's day to day. As the child does not sleep or can not get enough rest, he will have daytime sleepiness, his attention will diminish and his learning ability will be affected.
What are the symptoms of childhood somnophobia?
Each child is different, but most begin to appear restless and anxious as the time to go to bed approaches. They often make excuses for parents to stay by their side because they are afraid to be left alone.
Some may refuse to go to bed, cry inconsolably and wake up very scared in the middle of the night. In the most extreme cases they may be so frightened that they have difficulty breathing, they sweat profusely, they tremble, they have palpitations and they suffer from nausea.
How can you help your child face the fear of sleep?
Phobias do not usually appear suddenly, they are usually a cystic fear. This means that if parents manage to adequately manage their children's fear of sleeping, there is less chance that the child will end up suffering from somniphobia, in which case the intervention of a psychologist would be necessary.
If your child is afraid to sleep, the most important thing is that you do not ridicule that fear because you should know that he can count on you and openly talk to you about his fears, which will help him overcome them. Your role will be to validate those emotions and subtract part of their impact. Therefore, instead of saying: "Do not be silly, monsters do not exist, go to sleep", it is better to say: "I understand that you are scared, I will stay by your side until you calm down".
At that time, you can show him that his room is safe. Encourage him to check under the bed as if it were a game, inside the closet or in the space behind the door, to convince himself that he has had a nightmare or it has been a trick of his imagination.
In many cases it helps to leave an indirect light on in your room, so that the child feels more secure and sleeps better. However, it is not recommended to turn on the main light as this will create a dependency that will end up affecting the quality of sleep. When you go to your room, console it with that dim and indirect light.
It also helps not to expose him to especially shocking contents that can later sneak into his dreams, especially during the hours before going to bed. In addition, you can turn to books like "I will kill monsters for you", which directly address this fear and can be of great help to children.
Source taken from: https://www.etapainfantil.com