Recently, a starry-eyed political knucklehead contacted me in the hopes of gaining my political support. Apparently, he has the plan that could finally help America and get this once great nation back on its feet again. This plan, you ask? (drum roll, please) He wanted me to support the Rural Progressive Platform, which promises to win back much of "Red America" and return it to its rightful blue owners.
Of course, when I read between the lines of this utopian manifesto, all I saw was "Spend More Money and Increase Taxes!"
Truth be told, I threw the politicians out with the political bathwater some time ago. I have no hope, I have no change, and I have no interest in making America great again when it requires me to spend more money for goods and services I'll never see, much less enjoy.
"How can you expect me to spend money on government to improve the nation, when I've already spent money on government to, you know, improve the nation? Furthermore, the government spent every last nickel yet it apparently forgot to get a receipt because no one knows where the money went."
The response was pure political gold:
"The government doesn't spend money, the government invests money in our future."
At this point I decided to unleash my own political platform to Make America Solvent Again.
You want me to trust the government to "invest" more tax dollars when it's already admitted to losing over $20 trillion since 2000? Instead of coming up with all these great new social programs and societal remedies (and then guilting Americans into paying for them), wouldn't it make more sense to simply track down the missing money the government pilfered and misplaced? It simply boggles the mind you're willing to spend more and more of everyone else's money despite the fact the government has “misallocated” more than enough money to pay for every last possible social program you could ever dream up and still have enough left over to build a Great Wall of China on the southern border…and at the same time provide free health care for the entire world.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I didn’t notice anything in the Rural Progressive Program that mentioned getting this money back. Surely they have a plan for this, right? After all, normal people don’t pay for goods and services with the specific intent of NOT receiving goods and services. If they pay for something and don’t receive it, they typically do something about it.
With all this talk of bipartisanship, you’d think THIS would be the issue toward unification. Of course, that type of situation would destroy party politics and return power to the people. Clearly no one wants that. Otherwise…WE'D BE LOOKING FOR THE MONEY!
Below is a picture of Donald Rumsfeld explaining how the Department of Defense lost over $2.3 trillion. I find it interesting that Rumsfeld's admission occurred on Sep 10, 2001, you know....hours before, well....nevermind.
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