What are you like at giving compliments? In fact, what are you like at taking them? Yeah, I know, it doesn't sound that hard a thing to actually do but it's surprising that some people find it so difficult to do either with any great effectiveness. I think that's a shame because giving, and receiving compliments, is a really nice thing.
Below are a few lines out of a song I like called Cruise by Florida Georgia Line and Nelly. It probably sounds way better when sung to music, but essentially it's a compliment. OK, I get it, it's not something you'd whisper in your loved one's ear or tap someone on the shoulder and say, however it's still a compliment of sorts. "Baby you're a song..."
Baby you a song
You make me wanna roll my windows down and cruise
Down a back road blowin’ stop signs through the middle
Every little farm town with you
In this brand new Chevy with a lift kit
It’d look a hell lot better with you up in it
I paid someone a compliment this morning, just a small one, but certainly deserved. In my opinion at least. Essentially the compliment said that I felt the person was of the highest quality and that I appreciated them. It was well-received, with a blush and a thank you. My compliment related to the person as a whole, and considering the circumstances didn't necessarily include a physical aspect. I said something about the person being who they are from the inside out rather than the other way. [Read: Looks didn't come into the equation in respect of my compliment.] It made me feel good in giving the compliment and for the way it was received as quite often compliments are met with resistance, taken out of context or not gracefully accepted.
I understand that to be honest, not accepting a compliment or resisting it I mean; I do that myself sometimes. I'm a pretty shy sort of person when it comes to meeting people and don't like to be the centre of attention much. Certainly never with people I don't know that well and so occasionally feel a little self-conscious when receiving compliments. (Not that I receive a whole heap of them though guess.) Is it fair for the complimentee to deny the complimenter the enjoyment of delivering a compliment though? I don't know. Probably not.
I've always been free with compliments. Umm, OK hang on...I mean genuine ones. I don't reward people when they do not deserve it in my professional or personal life. I encourage yes, but never compliment a person when it's not deserved. It doesn't mean I bust out negatives either, I just don't compliment when it's not relevant. On the other had when it is deserved I never hesitate. (Assuming it's appropriate of course.)
Finding the balance between complimenting, or not, can be difficult which could explain why people simple don't do so, or in deed, over-compliment which can then come across as disingenuous. Again, there is a very fine line between a compliment and simple encouragement. Finding it, and applying it appropriately can be very important and difficult.
Complimenting people genuinely and with relevance has been a very important part of my life and I've always done it. I don't just mean with the girls either. To be honest, deploying compliments too freely with the ladies can have a less than desirable effect especially if it's not relevant, appropriate and genuine. Choosing the compliment and the setting in which it is delivered will save a lot of embarrassment. If you don't believe me get yourself down to the local bar and walk up to someone and deploy a cheesy compliment to someone sitting having a quiet drink...Here's one..."Are your parents bakers because you're a cutie pie."...That's sure to get a response...But probably not the one you'd like...(Or maybe it will?)
Seriously though, I wonder what your day would be like if you were more complimentary of others and if they were in return also. Compliment someone, lift their self-esteem or mood just a little then simply move on...It's not that hard really and the results could be beneficial to both parties. It's a little like a genuine smile, freely given, being more valuable than a frown when it comes to interactions with others.
For me giving a compliment is a great and very valuable thing to do. I don't do it to fish for one in return or to gain favour either, I do it because life is too short not to. I do it because it helps me feel good and I know it can have the same effect on other's also.
Now, I mentioned above that not everyone feels able, or willing, to accept a compliment; Me included sometimes. I try not to do so now though because I understand that in doing so, attempting to be modest can leave the person giving the compliment feeling a little disgruntled or even hurt. If someone feels it's important enough to hand out that compliment then I think it's best just to take it, say thank you and move on. I say "thank you, and occasionally will follow that up with "I appreciate you noticing and commenting" or something like that. It's easy to do and leaves the person giving the compliment the ability to walk away happy.
So, giving a compliment, as my title suggests, is complimentary. Meaning that it costs nothing to give one, or many! You should try it. Take note of something about someone today: Their efforts at work, the way they present themselves, the way they write, or the way they smile genuinely in greeting others, the way they are on time each morning, or clean up the dirty cups in the office kitchen without a fuss or requiring a medal. It works at home too. That's the awesome thing with compliments; They are multi-use. Give your partner one, your child or maybe even call your parents and compliment them on they way they worked so hard to raise you properly. Then sit back and watch the magic of freely given and genuine compliments. The magic...Yep, I mean the way you will feel. Simply better.