Have you really thought about this?
I have long been fascinated by the concept of success and the varied definitions proffered.
Being just shy of 56 years on the planet, with periods of intensive study on the topic and many personal learning moments, I feel like I have finally arrived at an explanation that works.
Whether my theory resonates with you or not, it will provide a platform for your pondering on what has to be the most important question pertaining to your happiness.
My hope is that you will engage with the topic, and that it will be a foundation for your personal happiness quest.
So let’s get it defined
The challenge in defining success lies with the multiple perspectives proffered, and the way that money informs popular or ‘world view’ as a value.
To illustrate, we note that entertainers and sports heroes are paid obscene amounts of money, whilst teachers are relatively poorly remunerated. The consequence of a teacher’s influence would suggest that they should be amongst the mostly highly paid of our professions and yet they languish at the lower end of the food chain.
Money should not be a personal value definition and yet we often view it as critical to success or happiness.
What money provides is a visible or outward manifestation.
Cars, houses, clothing, travel and other assets seem to be evidence of happiness.
Social media and the internet afford those blessed with wealth a place flaunt these symbols. Pop Stars and other societal leaders perpetuate the fallacy that success means having money and owning lots of toys and possessions. They tend to have a more valued voice in society simply because of what their particular talent has afforded them by way of perceived success. It is amazing to watch teenagers [and some adults], hang on every word and take the advice of sometimes morally corrupt individuals, simply because of a musical or other talent.
So how do we arrive at a more meaningful description of success.
Paul J Meyer seems to come closest.
He defined success as, “…the progressive realization of predetermined, worthwhile, personal goals.”
Whilst this is a good starting point, ‘worthwhile’ and ‘goals’ can be a challenge to define if we take the aforementioned ‘world view’. What is worthwhile to you, may not be to me, and goals in and of themselves will not engender success. To a degree Meyer’s definition allows for individual preferences, but may cause confusion in our hunt for clarity. Let’s begin then with the desired outcome, happiness, or even better, joy [a longer lasting and more desirable feeling].
If we can experience joy on a regular and even daily basis, then we would consider ourselves successful.
What is the object of man’s striving if not joy?
As I have pondered and experimented in finding this somewhat illusive state, I have come to the realization that the world view, whilst compelling in its popularity, generally drives us to the opposite end. Abraham Maslows ‘Hierachy of Human Needs’, suggests a reliance on social view until we break through to the last two levels of achievement, or state of being. The first three levels are arguably where most people exist, with level three as the norm. We tend to be heavily reliant on the perceptions of others, with fashion [in all its forms] providing a prime example.
It is only when we move into the esteem and self-actualization levels that we begin to have a desire for achievement based on what is right, rather than what is popular. To truly unlock innate talents and abilities requires moving beyond what those around us think. Whilst this is a tough assignment, we will not attain joy without breaking the barrier of relational needs. If we are always dependent on others we will be aiming for a constantly moving target based on fashion and whim. Success then, is being in a state of joy, independent of outside influence or popular belief.
So if joy is our objective then how do we attain it. [It is important to make a distinction between joy and pleasure. Pleasure would be a counterfeit joy, of short duration and never completely satisfying. Drugs and pornography are examples]. There are two keys to joy; the quality of our relationships, and the joy of contribution. We are most alive and joyful when we know what our gift or talent is and we offer it to the world, or at least one other person.
Each of us has a unique contribution.
To discover and develop our gift is our quest, to offer it to others is our joy. Some are so gifted as to enable them to make a further reaching contribution, to a greater number of people, whilst some are destined to affect only one person. The number is of no consequence as long as we recognize the value of our contribution. A mother who helps one child to reach their potential is as valuable as a statesman who affects the lives of millions. It is often that mother who shapes the statesman.
Too many people undervalue their contribution because of the ‘world view’ and societal norms. This comparison is unfair and counterproductive.
We tend to value one profession more than another, one type of contribution more than another. A street sweeper and a doctor both add value but are perceived as poles apart.
Happy is the man who knows their talent and feels it a joy to deliver.
