What's up my co-hivers shining in this area was genyrose once again. Are you blessed right now? Well, if not be blessed and thankful always because we wake up every single day.
For now, I will pause on posting about Christmas, but I will continue it on my next blog since I have a lot of things to share about my Christmas experiences so just keep on reading and feel what I am feeling☺️
To make it fast my blog is all about how I conquer my anxiety that leads me to a depression.
When I was a little child all I felt was happiness no pain, no gain. What I want is what I have what I request it's all granted and it seems like I'm living like a queen nor a princess who always had a happy lifestyle. But not every queen had a happy life there will always be a struggle, difficulties and problems.
So, as I grow up I found out that life is not as easy as what I expected.
It all started when my father cannot work due to his ill it happened almost three months or above.
That time, I was also struggling in my studying specially when it comes to research and I don't have any gadgets it challenge me so much.
While struggling with my academic I was also struggling in our financial since I was the eldest among seven siblings as what I mentioned on the very beginning of my blog.
At first, I was saying yes only yes and I can do it. Then I did and I'm proud of it. But, little by little I'm very full I don't know what to do I have done everything that I could but I felt that it's all over.
As for my self I felt that I'm only one no one to talk, no one listens and no one says an advice well, I can't blame anyone because I keep on silent.
At day time I keep on smiling and pretending that I'm fine but during night time I started crying and think about negative one. Weeks pass by that was all what I did until one night . The night that I can't forget it was the night that I attempt suicide. Oh, yes I did those stupid things I definitely get some rope and tie it in my neck.
I felt hurt then I saw my sister's and it come up to my mind that if I surrender what will be happen to my younger sister's? What if they will do what I did, what if what I've been feeling will be experience by them too? It comes up to my mind a different questions then I get off the rope on my neck and cry for the last time.
I realize that I will be a loser if I choose a wrong decision and I realize that having a problem is okay because it test us of how strong we are and how to take a challenge that was given to us. I put in my mind that I will be a good example to my sister's that whatever may happen, happens but at least we did our very best even if we're not the best.
Overall, I shared this because I want to forget all the negative things and memories that still hunting me. I want to be strong and more independent woman. Actually, I doubt if I will share this kind of experience that I had been experience but I believe that in this way it can help me to pull out what I've been afraid of. I wanna let go the past negative experience of mine. Start a new beginnings in the coming new year.
For now, I don't have any pictures in the reason that I was avoiding handling my cellphone those times.
Furthermore, I believe in the saying says that,"do not fear failure rather fear not trying"
LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WASTE, SO DON'T WASTE YOUR LIFE IN A WRONG DECISSION"
That will be all for now and I hope everyone cannot encountered as what I had been encountered.Have an awesome day everyone 🥰💞