This morning when the alarm went off, I woke up with a bang. Last night I had a very restless night. My husband is working a weird shift this week, and I just can't fall asleep if he is not here. So I sat up watching television until he came home at 12h30. I could not fall asleep immediately so it took a while for me to relax and then I was off to dreamland. At 1h30 I was rudely awakened by my nearly 96 year old grandmother screaming at the top of her lungs. She has dementia, and more than often can not even remember who she is. She would wake up and then she has no clue what time it is or where she is, so the only thing she does is to start screaming my name. For some reason, she always knows who I am.
It saddens me that I can not help her remember and it annoys me terribly when she wakes us at night, but unfortunately it is part of the package and she can not help it. She has done so much for me over the years and I feel terrible that she has deteriorated so much. Dementia is a terrible heartbreaking disease and you just have to adapt to this situation.
While I tried to get back to sleep, I lay thinking. We have so much to be thankful for and yet we complain about the most simplest things. I can't tell you how worried I sometimes am about the simplest things. I think it is so in my nature to worry, that I actually choose things to worry about.
We worry about our kids, our parents, our partners etc. and the simple fact is that we can't control ANYTHING that actually happens in our lives. Worry causes unnecessary anxiety and that can be a real bummer.
My message to you today is to worry less, think more about yourself, and do what you can for others, but don't lose yourself in the process. Life is way too short to waste our time worrying.
If you worry you die. If you don't worry, you also die, so why worry?
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