Because of something unexpectedly, my trip was ended earlier than I planned so by then I'm having almost a week staying at home with silence till my annual leave ends. To my surprise, I loved my solitude so much that I never had this feeling before. I used to plan this plan that for every day. I loved full schedule as it showed how efficient I was. Now, something changed incredibly. I tried to enjoy living with uncertainties and ‘no plans’. Playing with my dogs and my lovely nephew, washing some dirty stuff, cleaning house, reading book, watching movie etc… Always follow what my heart wants me to do. That’s so relaxing and I finally can feel what is freedom. The freedom of being myself.
I meditate every day now and try to make it as daily practice. There was a vision I saw and witnessed during the meditation I did few days ago and I really want to share with you. I was sitting at a place somewhere inside a terminal at the airport. There was so packed- full of people who were carrying many luggages. Some of them kept walking around or standing at a spot waiting for someone. At the corner not far away from me, I could see people were saying goodbye to their beloved one with tears and smiles. My friend I was waiting for long time walked toward me. At that moment, Only me sitting there observed everything.
Suddenly there was a moment everything moving fast forward. Super fast ! The speed was like 20 times faster than the normal. And only me remained there with normal breathing but no moving. I was the only one unchanged and still. Everything in my eyes, people and my friend around me came and left so fast. Everything changed within one second. That is the truth. You are the only one unchanged when you have the awareness.
How can you stop others moving? How can you control something outside yours? Nothing you can do and manipulate, except ‘Self’. What life you want to have? Life with happiness or sadness? We are the one who is responsible to our feeling and emotions. So why just be happy with no worries? leave the burdens behind and God will take care of the rest. So just relax and be happy with ourself. You want to ask for a better, secure and forever relationship?Don't try to hold and keep your relationship because it only makes him/her stressed and you just push them away. That is freedom of love. Give both of you freedom and treat each other as a whole being. It's so beautiful, isn't it? What we should do first is to work on ourself, stay with ourself and love ourself. Oh...So much realization from mediation and the time being alone…
“You are the unchanging manifesting as the changefulness” --- Mooji
Much love,
Gladys
By the way, how can I love myself more?
Maybe dress up nicely and go out for a drink. But not get drunk! :P
