Among other things, I've been pondering lately the concept of being positive. While I don't believe it's possible to be absolutely positive all the time—life has a way of eroding the resolve of even the most stalwart optimist—but I do believe it's possible to be trending towards positivity so that one is as positive as one can be.
That said, being positive doesn't, in my opinion, just happen. Being positive for positivity's sake is a fool's errand. There needs to be something backing up that positivity.
On the other side of the spectrum, I've learned over time that there's a need for negativity, too. I know most of us don't like being around those who are negative or always pessimistic, but that's not really what I mean. Always being negative about every situation can be just as harmful, and sometimes more so, than always being Polyanna.
I've been taught to believe in opposites. We might recognize it, curiously enough, as Yin and Yang, or through sayings such as, Opposites attract, or They fight like cats and dogs, but the idea is, without one, it's virtually impossible to distinguish the other.
If everything was dark or cold, would we ever appreciate the light or warmth? Or even, the reverse of that. Sometimes sitting in the dark can be soothing. I don't know how many times I've felt my skin react to the coolness of a breeze after experiencing stifling heat (it's like it's drinking it in), just to have the warmth envelop me like a blanket after being cooled too long.
If I didn't experience the cold, would I even know what warmth truly was, let alone appreciate it?
The same can be said, I believe, for positivity and negativity. A little bit, probably, goes a long way when it comes to negativity, but as I've said, without the one, could there be the other? Everything would end up being one great whole.
Fear can be considered a negative emotional response, but if channeled and contained, it can do a lot of good. No one enjoys experiencing fear, but it's not about whether it's enjoyable. It's about conquering it, and failing that, soldiering on and getting through it, anyway.
Thus, the negative response, fear, ends up being a positive—through the act of perseverance and by building one's strength and capacity to function.
Fear can also keep us from doing things that are harmful, just as it can prevent us from doing things that are good or necessary for growth and development. So even with fear, positive results can come about.
Positive and negative is often considered to be attitudinal in nature. Virtually the same experience can befall one person as it does another, and yet, the potential for complete opposite reactions exist. Is positivity and negativity, then, only based on one's perception?
I don't know. I think in the moment, most would agree that a negative experience stinks. Some, however, might take it up as a challenge, to press on and overcome, while another might feel completely and totally crushed by it. Years from the incident, the former person would be moving on with life while the latter remains stuck.
Generally, it's common for some sort of self-evaluation to happen in the face of trials or obstacles. We can wonder why such a thing would happen to us, wallow in the unfairness of it all, shake a fist heavenward and look around for who to blame, or we can do variations along the spectrum until we get to the opposite reaction—we take stock of ourselves, evaluate or own responsibility and accountability (if any) for our predicament, and figure out ways to improve and prepare ourselves against the next obstacle or trial.
I'm not suggesting we should go looking for trouble. Trouble is very good at finding us. I am saying, though, that when times get hard, there are those who face it head on as best they can, knowing that the only way to get past is to get through, while those who try to run or circumvent or postpone or avoid such experiences, generally end up going through them at some point, only to find that things got far worse for the doing.
Of late, I've been posting about topics that one might consider negative. Since they're mainly my own life experiences or how I'm dealing with them, I'd say, it is what it is. Just as good things happen, so do bad. Just as there are clouds, though, there can be silver linings.
I don't know what good may emerge from all that has been going on in the world lately, and even more so here in the United States, but I do know that at least some are finally at a point of not only saying enough is enough, but doing something about it. Whether or not what they do will bring out any real, lasting change, is yet to be seen.
In my way of thinking, things tend to need to get way worse before they have an opportunity to get better.
A problem, among many, though, is that in this move to push the pendulum in the opposing direction from where it's been heading, other issues and problems can arise as it inevitably swings back. Society is always seeking equilibrium, or balance, between the atrocities on the one hand, and their counterparts on the other.
I'm not one to consider it healthy to just stick your head in the sand. At the same time, it's not really worthwhile to simply hurl rocks at one another, either. Eventually, you run out of rocks, or more likely, start looking around for something else to end the fight with, which almost always leads to escalation, and more destruction, before it actually results in a ceasing of conflicts.
I don't know how many times I've seen good come from bad, and vice versa. It's hard to know, sometimes, just what's going to happen. There's a reason for the saying, The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. While there is certainly more than one way to interpret that, the main one seems to be that it doesn't matter so much if the intentions are good, it's whether the actions taken or not taken ultimately result in something good.
Sometimes, what used to be called tough love is in order. I'm not sure what it's called now. I don't even know if it's still a thing. I just know that if life somehow ends up being all one way or the other, personal growth for those involved can either stagnate or be stifled. But again, we don't look at someone's continual good fortune as a stumbling block or a detriment, do we?
Not until something happens and it becomes painfully apparent that their charmed life wasn't so charmed, after all, because it didn't prepare them for the one thing, or series of things, that could topple their castle in the sky.
We do, though, look on with sympathy and pity on the one who seems stymied from birth, destined to never go anywhere because life was always against them. It's in us to root for the underdog, not the one who has it all, or really should succeed.
It's what makes us cheer on the rebel scum instead of the Empire. It's what makes some of us identify more with the anti-heroes or the rogues, because we see a little bit of downtrodden in them. There are a lot of gray areas to life, and we can understand why characters or real people might make the decisions that they do, since we can see ourselves in them. We find the hero or the villain in conflict to be much more compelling, or true to life. The always good hero is impossibly always good, even though, they would be the ones who were always sure or positive.
So, which is better, positivity or negativity? For me, the answer is, to one degree or another, both. We really need to some of both in our lives. Enough to be happy with where we are while striving to improve.
Images source—Pixabay