When you've read a good book, seen a great movie, or been on a fabulous vacation, you just have to share it with someone. Such is the case with my life. I am a 67 year old gramps who feels like an 8 year old on his first trip to Disney World *-) I have to preface this story with a disclaimer, though. It is going to, in a very large part, involve references to my God, but I am not looking to preach, proselytize, or convert anyone (in fact, I think most people that do that are just looking for merit badges)
While I lived the first 40 years of my life as a complete moron who pretty much made all the wrong choices based on selfish pursuits, I was raised in the church, went to christion schools, and was well versed in the Bible. Thus, I always believed in God, although we didn't always agree. Nevertheless, for some reason ( I think it was my Godly grandmother, appropriately named "Grace", praying for me) God richly blessed me and continually made rose gardens out of the manure pits I insisted on digging. I have 6 kids, 13 grand kids, and 2 great grandkids, all happy and healthy, to prove that.
But with all that knowledge and upbringing, I knew I had it wrong. I also recognized that men have been getting the understanding of God and His Word wrong for millenia. So at age 40, believe it or not, I cut a deal with God ! I told Him I would absolutely abandon everything I knew and unabashedly run with whatever He revealed to me about Himself and His Word. Wow, did He ever deliver !
His first move was to impress upon me the magnitude of my forgiveness. We are taught incessantly about the need to forgive others ( a noble concept ), but very little about how forgiven WE are, past, present, and FUTURE ! All covered, thanks to Jesus. The effects of fully embracing that truth are infinite. Once I realized that I had nothing to hide, defend, or make excuses for, I could, for the first time, look at my heart through God's eyes (way darker than I thought ) This understanding of just how much I had been forgiven produced a very humble spirit, an extreme patience and compassion for others (any shortcomings I saw in them I could also find in me, or worse ), and, best of all, a constant desire to approach God unrestricted with my "repair list" *-)
Long story short, that key piece of understanding, that it wasn't God who was separated from me, but that I was hiding from Him, triggered a whirlwind 27 year "me and Him", and He has always had my back. Granted, it hasn't always been pretty. I can be a real challenge, and I must be His pet project, but its always good. I spend a large portion of my days just talking to Him, mostly with gratitude, and watching for His hand in my circumstances. They haven't changed (my life can be as rough as anyones at times ) but my absolute faith and trust in Him has changed my perspective and reaction to circumstances.
Recently, He initiated events in my life that I can only describe as an intense crash course in knowing Him. I have been sharing the story in my blog, and there is WAY too much to put in this post. If I haven't lost you, bored you, or frustrated you by now, you might want to check out "the rest of the story" (how do you like that for a hook) Actually, its 11:30 and way past my bedtime *-) "BE STILL, AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD"