I don't know how other countries celebrate Valentine's Day but here in Philippines we do it grand with lovesongs played everywhere, cupids adorning store windows, flower prices soaring, restaurant and hotels fully booked and red heart shape balloons going out of stock. At no time you'd feel it's a crime to be single than this Feb 14.
So what does a 40 something single like me do around this time? I celebrate love too with a bang as indeed it needs to be celebrated as such considering it's complexity and it's elusiveness to most of the human specie.
Because typhoon Basyang is as cruel as a heartbreak I woke up early to the sound of heavy rain pouring .Afraid it could get worst and I miss out on work which eventually will deny me of my March summer getaways I head out of my cave.
The shawarma was better in my imagination than in my taste bud much to my disappointment so I tried the spicy lechon instead.
Much to our chagrin, we fall in love with people attrubuting to them over the top characteristics only to wake up it to fantasy they are as flawed as we. And though, heartaches like a fat pig is bad for our heart, we dig in hoping we will be immune from it all despite the available stats.
In the old days I would have been branded as a pathetic spinster but nowadays with grewing number of unmarried women we happily brand it as single blessedness mindful of the fact that marriage isn't for everyone and it's not just issue of procreation. I like the any who cries at The Notebook,or the Titanic desire someone who mirrors our commitment and passion we bring in to a relationship. In today's world of empowered woman we want a man who won't just she'll out for the expenses but will also be able to speak our love languages. Hopeless romantic they say but I just want to be in a relationship that's mutually satisfying where I don't have to second guess myself if it's worth my time and my energy.
Like the halo halo I have for dessert, I want him to be a friend, lover, travel buddy, confidant a do a lifelong life partner. And that longing to have that someone who can fill those shoes often than not find me on a frost bite when ideas of marriage is as perpetual like in my country.While most countries had approved of divorce we have yet to see it legalized here in my homeland.
So in most cases, when loneliness finds me I try to be sarcastic about it and think of the many married couples wanting to untie the knot and feeling alone in a union that is no longer serving its end.At the opposite end of the spectrum, those loving homosexual couples who are willing to commit and build a family but society won't permit. Between the two, I envy the later because despite the odds ,love wins.
Because cold weather couple with holidays like this are good enough reason to pig out I tried to fill my belly more with tokuyaki in a near food stall. Indeed one can goon endless date and find himself o r herself alone still. Tokuyaki was far better somewhere else I had been before.
This brings me to realization that, as long as we kept comparing the x's with the potential we will always find ourselves to date. So go try on another date but remember to know your worth.
As much as I agree with the old book that love deserves billion chances and is patient etc some things like trust issues are deal breakers.
Filling full I head to work for another day. As much as we would like to believe it's doomsday when a love end sadly my dear it isn't the case. So find, something worthy of your time and don't just orbit around him like Earth to its sun. Because dear be it a loge so true or not, you'd eventually lose him to natural causes or the whims of fate. When that doesn't, I hope you have enough love in you to make it up for another fight.
So like this food, take love like everything in moderation. As Stephen Chbosky said it best. my friends"we accept the love we think we. deserve"As much as I love the idea of fighting for love,not all so called "love "are worth their tears .
I hope in this Valentines dear friends may you know that as long as you give love eventually it will find you .So love without attachment and expectations as they say but also love without defranchizing yourself as well. Afterall, as the wise says it's best, we teach others how to love us by how we love ourselves. Hugs this Valentine's from me to you. May you find a love that nourishes not just the senses but also the soul. If you're not lucky, like food you can always eliminate it out of your system but don't rant because for the pain has beautiful lesson in them to make a beautiful you Besides you freely did the choosing too
Till next post,
Ayn