Yesterday I fucked up right in the center of the city. And it's not funny, big guy put a full pants. And it was so, I'm walking down the street, no one do not touch, and then I wanted to fart. And on the street, but on a cold day, the god ordered to soot. And I especially love this thing, to give gas, I was a whale in this case is still the same. When I was at home I Keep gas burners from the neighbors go out on the air pressure.
So, I decided to fart. I farted and understood that crap.
Standing straight and shit in his pants, and neither of which help it can not. Shit climbs itself, without even asking my permission for this process.
I've always wondered why when shit at home, it quietly shit portions. He forced a hundred grams, and the ass so just cut off, and then turned the page on a newspaper, ran through by title and once again forced a turd unit dose. When obseraeshsya pants, neither of which batch of feces extrusion can not walk and talk. Ass stupidly opened and shit climbs. And Ass opens on so well that I had the impression that she, without my consent, participate in the competition "do shit with a diameter of 30 centimeters and win a mobile phone." The question is, damn, my ass for what a mobile phone?
I've done in my estimation, seriously. Standing, already sweating, the very center of the city, home to Moscow as a lap. I stand, and the head trying to find a way out, something is to be done. Walk waddle about three hours, and it's a complete coward shit, this idea compartment immediately. Then, I figured frost on the street, let me think sit down on a stool, shit freeze, and then I'll go on the subway, and so rushes get home. He sat down on a bench and sit in the ass pack heat. And then I thought, if the shit in his underwear frozen, eggs, too fucked up. I even became ill at the thought. Got up. People me why that side of the bypass, it is clear that I understand that it reflects. And I stand, and as I can not figure out. Then a brilliant idea came to me. Now I'll come to the entrance, the elevator we will go there looking for rent underwear, ass wipe them as well, and home quick.
So I go into the entrance, calling elevator. I stand, and shit is already beginning to cool, the feeling of not quite frankly beautiful. At the entrance I realized one more thing from me really stinks like dirty from cattle, with much stinks. I came elevator, I go, push the fourteenth floor button and the second hand trousers unbutton, well that would be enough time until the elevator arrives. The doors began to close, and then enters the elevator lovely creation female. Well, fucking!
- Oh, you on the 14th floor, and I was 13 - she sang
- Well, I'll pass you, then go down to the floor. Course will pass, I already pressed the button, I thought buttoning his pants.
Elevator gone, and I have all the noise in the head, back was sweating, and shit is completely cooled down.
And I think that the smell in the elevator very beginning, because it is the creation, somehow looked at me oddly. I froze, the type that do not have shit I'm in the elevator and that's it.
And fucking fucked up, where is the elevator floor 10 we made a big nod, said goodbye to us, and the lights went out. I almost did not fuck up again. Elevator stuck.
- Oh, really stuck elevator? - She asked.
- I understand that, yes, - I pretend to be an intellectual. And I think to myself what I should do with their gomno and with his dirty ass. But something must be done.
And then this woman, pushes some buttons, and begins with someone saying the address to call home and ask for help. I once imagined that right now come fitters, will remove us from here, to ask why it is so by shit stinks, I more wanted to shit. The elevator is dark even pitch dark. And then I realized that as long as the elevator is dark, it is necessary to remove the quick pants, shorts then removed and the corner of the quiet putting. And when the light turn on, it is not used to the light fucking see.
I unbuttoning his pants, rustling things so that even the most terrible.
- What are you doing - much swallowing, she said.
- Yes, I'm satisfied for more convenient to wait for a long time - and he pants lower a little
- What's that smell - scared she asked. I really almost blurted out that I fuck up on the street and on the fucking stink by shit like, but issued by another:
- Some bastards shitting in elevators - and he took off his pants already full, I stand in the elevator crap in his underpants. I once thought right now, turn on the light, the girl really will die from what he saw. But things have nothing to work on.
The girl started very loud swallow saliva, visible to the same crap with fright.
I rustled things.
The very same think to myself, how could so contrive and quietly remove the pants. And then I imagine what will stink.
- Man, you do not hurt me, please do not touch me - the girl whined loudly.
- What do you mean, in my mind, I'm the father of two children who go to someone on an important issue, how could you think of me is - I say confidently, and he began to take off pants on asses. Shit stinks like shit when usiraeshsya pants. It stinks because it is not in the toilet, it stinks so that the fly is still on approach to lose consciousness, then once a week in intensive care are treated. She also felt that something was wrong, has become the quiet whimpering in the corner.
- Oh come on you, I will not hurt you - I say. And the shorts have come unstuck from the ass, and think how would they remove the legs that would not be smeared in shit?
The girl in my just do crazy, dumb sit whining and lamenting that it is probably the prayer reads some thread. And I have to briefs Cullen pulled.
- Muzhina..yyyyy, it roars, - please do not kill you, - and on such a stupid squeak.
- Yes in FIG I need you, I say - at the very problems to his neck, gave you to me.
Pants pulled just below the knee, and really understand that I fucking full, feet in the shit, ass to shit and stink as much watery eyes.
girl in my ebanulsya of the smell completely.
- You, you ...... she whispers
- Why do you you stand currently spakoyno, I tell you shit who's seen I joined, that stinks.
The girl in my view lay on the floor of the elevator. I think I'll just smell from his consciousness does not lose.
But on the other hand, I understand that we must not tarry, either now or never.
In short, I bent down, took off his pants on one leg. On the floor that it blurted out, I think it was shit out of cowards. The girl in the corner is already just moos like a cow.
I contrived and directed shorts in the second leg. I feel better already, half of the case did. I stand with shorts in his hand, and I think in some corner of this chick sitting roaring, well, that would not throw her panties on his head, and that would not get on their same pants. He listened, sitting on the contrary, it means the opposite corner we must aim.
And then complete fucking crept unnoticed. I turn on the light, and went to the elevator.
When my eyes adjusted, I realized that with the girls that something is not right. Her eyes like 15" monitors, mouth open, arms hanging, his mouth moves like a fish, in short, all think fucking blown fright head. And then I realized. The picture in the elevator. I'm naked from the waist down, covered in shit, in the hands of cowards with shit and look at the girl. it is, in short, another five seconds and doing stupid mouth fell to the floor. All, I think, has died, I still have a corpse in the elevator was not enough.
I decided not to lose time, ass cowards and wiped his feet. Pants dressed and standing as a citizen Chesney forward to my floor. On the floor, the girl is probably dead, in the hands of cowards with gomno what I kept them, I do not know.
When the elevator arrived, the girl has not yet come to life, and lies on the floor. I thought that it would be bad in an elevator in a state to leave, well, and pulled her to the floor. He put gently under head his pants and ran out of the house.
Only one can not understand what the hell she was so scared?
After all, when the elevator stinks by shit, it means that someone is crap, but if you would smelled by a dick, that yes there can be ispugatsya, to fuck will, though nothing to do something terrible, I do not see.