Emma Jenner, the British nanny of the reality show "Take Home Nanny" has been taking care of children (and parents) for a very long time.
Now, she shares her opinion on why modern parents often fail to raise their children properly. According to Emma, in an article written for the Huffington Post, there are 5 reasons why raising children is particularly difficult right now.
- We let our children control us
Did you know that? You are at the table for breakfast and you give your daughter a red cup, but she wants a blue one. You get up and give him one because you are afraid that she will get angry and start crying ...
According to Emma Jenner, this is a very bad way to handle the situation. Why are we so scared of what could happen if our daughter does not get the cup she wants? After all, we are supposed to make decisions in our home, not our children.
Emma thinks we should let the children go to bed, while going to another room so they do not have to attend.
Also, imagine what it teaches our children if we always give in to them. If you let them walk on you, they will think they will always have everything they want. All they have to do is get angry. It's not good for anyone, including children.
- We have set the bar too low for our children
When a child loses their temper and makes a scene - whether at home, at the supermarket or at the restaurant - many parents think it's just the normal way children act.
But is this really the case? According to Emma, children have more abilities than their parents think, and parents should expect more from their children.
After all, we talk about basic things like respect, generosity, housework and self-control. Do we really think our children can not do it? Do we really believe that our children are not able to sit quietly during a dinner?
We should have faith in our little ones, raise our expectations, and teach our children to behave properly.
The only reason children do not behave properly is because they have not been taught to do so. Let's raise the bar!
- No one dares say anything
In the past, many people dared to speak when our children behaved badly; the bus driver, the teacher, the mother of a little friend, or any other adult around them.
Jenner calls this the "village". Everyone had some responsibility for the children around them to make sure they behaved well and that they took good care of them.
Today, it is almost impossible for a teacher or a school bus driver to bring constructive criticism of someone's child. Why ? Most parents get upset with those who dare to say anything negative about their child, even if it's his teacher.
Emma's advice is to venerate other parents when we see that they do not give in to the whims of their children. And we should listen to teachers' opinions about our children before leaving their class angrily. Emma thinks we could all relax and be less likely.
- We are constantly looking for shortcuts to raise our children
Today's children have access to smartphones, iPads, TVs and other electronic objects, making it easier for us as parents. But it's too easy for kids and parents to get used to being entertained all the time, adds Emma.
Of course, gadgets can facilitate certain situations. But the problem is that children do not learn to be patient and they are unable to handle boredom.
Children should be able to entertain themselves. Everyone gets bored at times, and we all learn to live with, unfortunately. And it's better to learn this lesson while still a child, rather than as an adult.
- Parents put the needs of their children before their children
Believe it or not, it's not always about the needs and feelings of our children. Emma uses the example of a dad who would go so far as to let go of everything he holds in his hands to help his child with the slightest need, or of a mother who will get up several times in the night to take care of his child.
These days we moms and dads forget our own needs, and we focus only on what our kids need or want.
So what is the problem ?
Emma believes that giving in to the needs of a child is not the problem in itself, but sometimes it is good for the child to wait a little before we meet his desires.
There is no harm in telling our thirsty child to wait a bit until we reach a place where we can buy him a drink. And there is no harm in saying no sometimes, or asking our children to have fun on their own while mom and dad take a little time for them.
If we do nothing against this problem, we end up raising spoiled children, says Emma.
We will have a whole generation of children who will have learned to be selfish, impatient and rude. And tragically, it will not be their fault - but ours.
But if we take our responsibilities, share our experiences, expect more from them and prepare them to face the world, we will have a brighter future. Do not you agree? Share this article to help us spread these good tips!
Publié par Newsner