Although it may seem like my family goes to the theater to see every quality kids movie, even we sometimes miss one or two. Sadly, we never did quite get around to seeing Mary Poppins Returns on the big screen. And now I thoroughly regret it.
Mary Poppins Returns is an incredibly dumb movie. The story is dumb. The excuses to transition from one delightful musical number to the next are dumb. The cameos by actors from the original are dumb. The whole thing is dumb.
It is as dumb as playing with Star Wars action figures and pretending to control an epic battle. It is as dumb as making up a game in your buddy's basement that involves sliding the coasters under the couch legs into a shoe box. It is as dumb as dressing up in Ninja pajamas and throwing balled up socks at your little brothers. It is as dumb as having a squirt-gun fight inside the house. It is as dumb as running around the neighborhood, jumping into bushes, and pretending you are G.I. Joe.
In short, Mary Poppins Returns is as dumb wonderful as childhood itself.
I warn you, if you are looking for a movie that makes sense, this is not the film for you. You are far too much of a grown-up to enjoy this movie. However, if you are like me and you want to be reminded of watching the original Mary Poppins with your mom and older sister (before you decided you were far too cool for them), then grab your child, sit them down next to you, and enjoy this wonderfully dumb movie. Be prepared to provide ample hugs to your little treasure (or maybe they will need to provide them for you). Because if you are in the right frame of mind, this movie will fill you with overwhelming emotion. Sometimes it will be pure joy that moves you to tears. Other times it will be sadness. Either way, it will move you.
I spent almost all of the 130 minutes with a smirk on my face. The story is simplistic and nonsensical... but then again so is childhood. It is merely an excuse to jump from one fantastical musical and visual sequence to another. The animation is wonderful. Director Rob Marshall wanted the animation to hearken back to the technological breakthrough that was the original Mary Poppins. To this day, Dick Van Dyke's dance with the penguins is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen in a movie. To pull that off in 1964 was nothing short of... impossible (but we all know that this word means nothing to Miss Poppins).
By far the best thing about this movie was that it felt like I was watching a 1960s musical with my family. Back in my day... we only had four TV channels... and we liked it!
No we didn't like it! However looking back, it forced me to bond with my mom, aunts and uncles over some content I would have never chosen to watch if I had more options. Every Sunday, I would go to my grandma's house. During my 10 hour stay there, I played with toys, games (including the damn Barbie Queen of the Prom game that my sister forced me to play with her), and we would watch "Family Classics". That is where I saw things like Mary Poppins, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and The Music Man.
It seems that Mary Poppins Returns impossible goal was to transport me back to my grandma's noisy, crowded, living room. Once again Mary Poppins did what she does best. She made the impossible possible.
It's funny that I never noticed my 11 year old daughter MJ sitting next to me in that small living room enjoying Julie Andrews singing about spoonfuls of sugar. But as I picture the scene now, she's right there next to me.
Thank you Mary Poppins.
Geeky Dad's Movie Guide
Number of times I fell asleep: 0
Number of eye rolls: 0
Number of face palms: 0
Number of times I checked my phone: 0
Number of times I said "That's ridiculous": 0 (Ummm its a flying Nanny)
Did my children like it: My daughter loved it. My son did not see it and would not have enjoyed it.
Would I see it without my kids: I might watch it with my mom.
Full price/Matinee/Rental/Free/Not worth the time: Although I wish I would have seen it in a theater, it was still entertaining on the small screen.