This weekend I got into another argument with my father-in-law. There are several things that he and I don't see eye to eye on... and almost none that we do.
But this particular argument has popped up constantly during the almost 20 years I have known him.
He simply cannot understand why I choose to be a special education teacher.
From his point of view, it is simply the most illogical choice I can possibly make. He knows I have been offered jobs that pay significantly higher salaries. He thinks I am either crazy, stupid, incompetent, scared or lazy. What else could explain the fact that I would turn down a $20,000 raise? It simply does not make logical or mathematical sense.
But here's the thing, not everyone is motivated by logic and math the way he is. For some people, emotion plays a huge role in what motivates them and the decisions they make.
If you have read many of my pieces, I think it's easy to see I am one of those people driven by emotion. (If you doubt me, check out any post about my family... or movies. Even war movies make me cry like a baby!)
Here's the question:
Does being emotional make me crazy, stupid, incompetent, scared or lazy? Does it mean that every decision I make is devoid of logic and common sense? No (at least I hope).
I don't make any decisions based 100% on emotion. I am self aware enough to know that emotion is a major factor in my decisions. I try to use logic to weigh the emotional payoff of a decision (sometimes I fail and the emotion blinds me... but I'm only human). I might even be able to put it in a mathematical equation.
For my father-in-law, the equation is simple:
More money = more happiness
For me its is a bit more complicated:
Spending time with my family + joy derived from helping kids +
earning enough money to support a family + job satisfaction = happiness.
I can't argue with him. He is not wrong. He simply has a different point of view. I get the logical arguments in favor of his way of thinking. In fact, I could even justify applying his way of thinking to myself. After all, if I made a ton of money, I would be in a better position to help my own children to succeed and have enough money to donate to charities that help kids.
But I would be absolutely miserable. Please don't get me wrong, if I absolutely had to take a job that didn't involve helping people in order to support my family, I would do it in a heartbeat and never complain. But I am blessed to not be in that position.
Because he is so logical about this topic, he simply can't see my true motivations. He projects his motivations onto me and therefore assumes the worst about me.
He simply doesn't "get" me.
So what is my point?
This interaction with my father-in-law reminded me of this community.
This community is built on technology. Because of this, the platform is bound to attract many mathematical and logical people. However, it is also a social media site. Therefore, it will attract a lot of emotional people as well.
Neither group is superior to the other. Both are valuable... but it is not an easy mix.
Using logic and math to try to convince someone not to be emotionally affected by something simply does not work. Conversely, using emotion to try and explain something to a very logical person may not work either.
In addition, it is important to recognize that individuals on here may be motivated by different things. If we all assume each of us has the exact same motivations, we may misinterpret each other's actions.
Because both play such a pivotal role here, when we make decisions that affect others, it would be wise to be weary of both logical and emotional consequences. If something is completely successful on a logical level but causes negative emotional reactions... then it is not totally successful on a social media platform. Conversely, if something satisfies on an emotional level but ignores the more analytical side of the platform, it too cannot be deemed a complete success.
Do I have a solution? No.
What I do have is hope that we can work together to find ways to bridge this gap and to create something that is successful on both an emotional and logical level. There are so many amazing people here. I sincerely hope we learn how to "get" each other.