This is my entry post to 
"Write a post on the best Learning or the Life Lesson you have learned from your Parents, and how and when you have implemented it on your life."
Honestly, before I read about his contest, I do not give much thoughts to the lessons my parents may have taught me, which I am obviously oblivious to the influences and impacts they have implanted into my lives. I have grown up with many friends who talk about what they do not want to be like from what they see from their parents. I guess improvements in life and the desire to be 'better' than our parents would make us less grateful of who they actually are.
A picture I really love of us on the day I got married years ago.
Just returned from my maternal grandma's funeral, I realized that my mum's siblings were processing who their mum really was to them. It was actually very beautiful as they stated out one by one what they feel about their mum and what they will greatly miss about her. I have been listening to really great stories that I have not known before this too. As a grandchild, I know my grandma even more, besides what she has done for us. Like every other human being, my parents are not perfect role models, neither are they without flaws. My parents have taught me many life lessons individually as well as together as a couple. I was just thinking that how usual we write the good things about our parents after they pass on, so why not write about them while they are well and alive?
What My Dad Has Taught Me - Generosity and Kindness
My dad was a medical laboratory technologist in the General Hospital Blood Bank and also a part-time insurance agent before he retired at 60 years old. He is a very diligent and hardworking man. He has been one of the most generous man I know in my life. While he was an insurance agent, he very often helped his client to pay their insurance premium if they have any difficulty coming out with it. Many people deemed this action as stupidity as it may have no return. However, there are clients who thanked him for doing it so sacrificially and they returned his favour in many ways years later. They know that this man can be trusted and they remained really good friends with him. I guess he did not just gain clients, but great friends too in the end. His ability of being very empathetic is one great life lesson I always constantly learn from him.
His sister's family used to be very dependent on him because the children were young and my aunt and his husband could not drive. My dad has never grumble a single time but transported them faithfully as and when they needed. Now that my cousins are all grown up, they are so grateful towards my dad and always offer to help after I got married away from home.
My dad was not earning much but he was always relentless in giving. Even after I have started working, there was a period of time I was struggling with finance as I work with a non-profit organization. He would stuff money to me even when I have just enough and did not want to accept. He would also fork out cash by himself and buy things or give to others in my name. This, he did not do to make himself look good, but rather he knows I wanted to and could not. He has touched me so much in this gestures and there was once I cried talking and thanking him about this.
He is a man who actually talks little but whenever he has heart-to-heart talk with me, I know it is his great wisdom speaking. This man whom I call Daddy has a huge heart and he certainly reflects so much of my Heavenly Father who is generous in nature. He has taught me that even if no one acknowledge or give anything in return, we are still to be generous and kind.
This is what my dad said to us on his 60th birthday, marking his retirement:
While you can do something, do it wholeheartedly and work hard. Have no regrets to yourself because you have done your very best! I have no regrets after working 38 years 1 month 11 days. I have made the fullest of times in life. Though life was difficult when I grow up, I managed to go through without much problems. My mission in life was to have a good house to stay, bring 4 of you up as graduates and like to see that all of you are stronger than us. You will be successful if you work accordingly at different stages of life.
What My Mom Has Taught Me - Responsibility and Sacrifice
My mom is the eldest daughter among all her 8 siblings , though she has an eldest brother. Being the eldest female child, she is very very responsible. She takes upon her shoulders many things to look into, even though she too is married away from her home. She would take 6-hour bus every weekend to go back home to take care of my sick late grandma back then. Just today, she has returned home again to take care of my grandpa, after just got back home on Tuesday.
My mom works very hard and she too, like my dad is a very sacrificial person. She has many times go the extra miles not just for family, but for strangers and friends too. She got to know the buyer of our old house and became very good friends with Aunty Siew. Aunty Siew was working in Singapore so her daughter and granddaughter stayed in the house. Her daughter was always absent from home, leaving behind her granddaughter who was still in high school. My mom would always be visiting her granddaughter, Wendy and fetched her around before she could drive. She would also cook and make sure Wendy always has enough.
Besides that, our immediate neighbours work in Singapore. She has never stop helping them to pay their bills first and would be taking care of their house by allowing some people they hired to upkeep their lawn to come attend to it. She is a very helpful neighbour. This, I know she takes after my late grandma. She has taught me that no matter how difficult it is, we are to reach out to the ones we love and be there for them. She also taught me that helping others is something natural to do.
The nuggets of wisdom I get from my mom is:
Always be near to family. Even if your distance doesn't allow you to, let your heart be near. Family is everything. Even if you have the world but lose your family, it would mean nothing to you.
My mum, sister, brother-in-law and I. By looking at her white hair, we can tell how much she has been working and going to and fro, just to be with her own parents.
What They Taught Me Together - Having Conflicts is Not The End of A Relationship
Both of my parents are very sacrificial in their time, money and efforts. However, the biggest area of sacrifice I learn from both of them is relating and giving away the right to be right. They are strong opinionated people but they will somehow be able to support the people they love even when they don't fully agree with us. I think that is the sacrifice of self-preference and I respect them a lot for that.
Frankly speaking, I have watched a lot of conflicts happened between my parents but never once, they mention about divorcing. They are naturally two very different personalities. My mom is very outspoken and she speaks whatever that comes to her mind while my dad is more reserved but speaks only when necessary. With these two differences and many others, it is understood conflicts tend to happen.
I have watched them fight since I have my youngest memory as a child. Some people would say it is not advisable to fight in front of your children because it may traumatize them. I would say that is partially true because I can remember vividly one huge fight they had and I cried badly at a tender age. However, I also remember clearly how my dad came out of his "cave" and spoke nicely to my mom. So I actually watched them resolved their conflicts. It instills an impression within me that there is no conflict that cannot be resolved if both parties are willing to think of the greater good.
It taught me since young that conflicts are unavoidable. Though they can become rather ugly, but they are stepping stones for relationships to grow. I have had many conflicts with my parents too but I think now we know we love each other more than before. Being in a typical Asian family, this is finally conveyed after sooooo many conflicts.
Does that means all the fights were worth it? Well, at least for me, yes. It requires courage to resolve conflicts and to be vulnerable with each other. After each conflict, I personally think relationships are elevated to a deeper intimacy.
My most recent family photo with my brother-in-law.
After I have become a parent to my child, I really realize there are many limitations we parents have. We often wish to "pass on" the best things we know and yet sometimes, it is easier said than being done. So, I can only say we do the best and there are things we have to learn together with them. I am very grateful for my parents for being who they are and I would not ask any other persons to be them in my life. They have shaped me to be who I am today.
I am proud of my parents and as we grow older, my siblings and I have learnt to express our gratitude better and better.
Thank you for taking time to read through my post today on what I have learnt from my parents. Apart from my own parents, I actually learn a lot form my parents-in-law too. Perhaps a post about them the next time? :)
There was a glitch in my post because I hit the "enter" button after I did my tags, without completing my post and the whole post was posted on the blockchain. Oh my, pardon me and I have to re-edit to add on to my incomplete post. What a goof!
