Smoking bongs in public isn't exactly kosher in Australia
But that didn't stop Kristy from stepping out of Central station, taking up a seat on a nearby garden retaining wall and helping herself to a hot one first thing in the morning. She'd pulled a stained Gatorade bottle turned DIY water pipe from her bag, filled it with some water from her water bottle and helped herself.
Zero f#cks were given.
I witnessed all this just after waking up outside the train station. I've recently taken up the weekend activity of sleeping on the streets, handing out care packages to the homeless and learning about the lives of those on different walks of life to myself.
This lady appeared to be on a very different walk of life, so naturally I had to talk to her. But how to approach?
This problem resolved itself. As I stood up and walked just past her, on my way to get a coffee from the downstairs cafe, she handed out a thinly rolled cigarette and said "come have some brekky love".
Perfect!
I sat just opposite her, she appeared to be quite tired, her eyes were a light shade of red. Her hair looked a bit messy, but no worse than my own first thing in the morning. She wore sandals, a knitted jumper and had a single exposed tattoo on her forearm. An amateur drawn peace sign.
She also wore the warmest smile I'd seen in Sydney all weekend!
Me: "Thank you, but I don't smoke. I'd love to have a chat though."
Her: "Sure love! You and your friend live out here?"
She'd obviously seen my sleeping arrangements and assumed I live on the streets.
Me: "No, actually I raised money to make up care packages for those doing it tough. I come down on Saturdays and stay the night, hand them out and get a better perspective of other peoples lives."
Her eyes lit up. "Good on you!"
Me: "Thank you. So what brings you out here?"
Her: "Aww I just caught the bus down from Tweed Heads (at least 10 hours north of Sydney) coming home from a funeral. Gotta catch a train in about 10 minutes to take me back down to Adelaide where I live. Thought I'd duck out for a quick cone."
We talked a bit about the funeral, building rapport with one another
She had been up there with her two daughters to attend an ex sister in laws funeral, her daughters had flown up there but she liked to keep her feet on the ground so instead opted for the train.
She soon began to talk about her daughters though, after I asked what they did for work.
Her: "Nah my girls don't work. One is 21 the other is 22, they both have kids. Five kids aged between 6 months and 5 years between the two of them."
Me: "That must be a lot to look after."
Her: "Yeah and I'm the one who's got to look after them all! Both my girls are on crack, f#ckin shits me because it leaves all the responsibility on me while they're getting around off their head!"
This took me aback, I immediately felt a stab of sympathy.
Me: "That must be tough on you, caught in a situation like that. You probably don't feel like you want to stay there, but you feel as though you owe it to your daughters and grandchildren to support them however you can..."
Her: "That's exactly how I feel."
Her voice trailed off. I felt as though I was the first person to make her feel understood. I regret not hugging her, telling her that it is okay to feel stuck sometimes.
Her: "There dad's the one who got 'em into it in the first place too. I split up with him after I found out he was using the stuff. Bastard, how could you do that to your own daughters? And then they have the nerve to get the shits with me for being a hard ass."
Me: "That's pretty backwards isn't it."
Her: "Yeah you're f#cking right it is, I just don't know what to do... Neither of my girls want to quit and I don't know how to get them too."
Me: "Have you tried moving? It can be tough to give something up if they have friends around them who do the same thing."
Her: "We've moved four times! And every time they always end up falling back in with junkies. Then our house ends up getting broken in to and stuff stolen. Nine out of 10 times I have to punch someone out to get our stuff back!"
She smiled at this last bit, I did too. Even though she was talking of terrible circumstances, she still seemed so full of warmth and joy.
I know she would be completely different if she felt her family was threatened. I could imagine her to be quite intimidating.
Me: "Life can be tough sometimes hey..."
Her: "Yeah, it's a bitch and then you die."
This broke my heart. I view life as an adventure, a beautiful miracle we all get to take part in. Some don't see it this way, which pains me so much.
I thanked her for the talk, she thanked me for the support and wished me a wonderful day.
Thank you for taking the time to learn of others hardships. We are all in this together and only through compassion, connection and understanding will we ever move forward. Much love <3
Yours, with Purpose