Are you comfortable being you? I mean, the real you! When you are vulnerable, you have power!
Coming from the heart, here's a little inspiration to start the week off!
I wrote this after I had just had the most wonderful day of being ME! See, I skated through most of my life pretending and hiding, trying to fit into places that I didn't really belong.
I have been reading the most amazing stuff lately! The more I learn, the more curious and excited I am to learn more!
Something very interesting to me is about how we BEHAVE and INTERACT with others.
If you knew me before or have read my glimpses into the past, that probably means you associate me with the girl who loves to party (her pain away) outgoing, wild, bartending gal who liked to skip out on classes early to work extra long shifts...
But what I have been finding over the last 4.5 years after I quit my job to travel the world is that I was hiding because I was just a lonely, scared little girl who just wanted to belong.
We all go through this and it's important that we can recognize it.
We hide behind masks and characters we create trying to fit into the classes and cliques that we idolize.
What happens when you break free from all of that conditioning you've forced yourself through for years?
That personality you developed to become who you wanted to be and get what you wanted in life. What lies under all of that?
I can tell you, it's a journey removing all of that layering.
Most people who meet me now cannot believe my stories of the past, of that girl who I created to take on my life, carry my struggles and fight my battles. She's honestly a ghost of a past I can hardly relate to anymore.
I could go on but my point is that I'm learning how deep our roots really are of what we think we need to be, how we think we need to dress, what we think we need to say, how we think we need to behave, what we think others think of us and what we think of ourselves!
Learning who I truly am (not all of the nonsense above) has shaped my life into an incredible blessing when it used to be a living nightmare just getting though the day!
See, I wasn't being true to myself and it forced me to be someone I didn't want to be, didn't know, didn't connect to and that caused me misery, shame and guilt.
We all have the capacity for growth and change within us.
We can all get back to our hearts and find our true selves but we're scared and we deny it.
I did the same thing. I said things like "I like it that way!" "I'm happy I act like that!" Etc.
I was not willing to take responsibility for myself or my actions at first but overtime I've been able to truly look inwards and find the real me who has been waiting to come out all of this time!
I'm sorry to disappoint you, my mother or anyone else who loved that role of the wild girl I used to play but the actress behind her, the real women behind that character, well, she's not a partier! She's not loud, she's not even very outgoing in the way a shot of tequila can convince you otherwise!
In truth she's actually quite shy!
She's emotional. She's sweet and kind. She's loving and gentle yet strong and independent. She cares more about the people she loves and what they think of her than the masses of crowds at a party cheering her on. She is friendly and heartfelt and that comes from a genuine space of love from a big heart inherited from her Gramma.
When we find who we really are, life just opens up.
It's not easy and there is tons of baggage but it's worth every tear, every ounce of anger and every smile that turns into laughter when we realize how ridiculous it all is!
Everything I have been reading lately calls me to look inside.
It may be scary and it may not be all pretty, glitter and sunshine but it's insatiably rewarding coming out of the battle!
Sending you a big hug to your inner "you!"
I hope you find the courage to look for you, too!
Have a wonderful week!💓
My heart's in charge here. I write about what I feel in the moment. What inspires me, what drives my passion. Here are some of my recent additions:
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Until next time!
Sending you love through food, travel, inspiration and epic storytime!
XO,