Let's start off with the inevitable messy, dirty talk that leaves me vulnerable and on the table.
Do you believe 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' or 'out of sight out of mind'?
Question of the year, am I right?
My mother used to always tell me that being a part strengthened relationships. So, when I went to university, she used to tell me that by not having me around, it made her miss me more.
This concept was strange AF to me. In my heart, if I love you and you're not around, it's shriveling up, beating like a drum trying to get back to you!
... But, after a while, that heart can only beat so hard for so long before it gets tired. So, where does that leave the question then?
I have been MIA for a while now. I posted a little bit here and there while I was off braving the big, crazy world out there but I gotta tell ya, it was eating me up WHOLE, devouring me like a pie at Christmas!
Now that I'm back to our friendly waves (that are no longer waves anymore and have turned into weird little message bubbles), I barely feel like I can swim anymore... searching for some floaties in this deep ocean that Steemit is.
I love my Steemit family (you know who you are) but I realize I have been gone for so long now that you might be singing Charlie Puth in your head right now reading my post (we don't talk anymore... we don't talk anymore... like we used to do...)
I haven't been here to finish telling you my stories that I got you addicted to, or to share vegan desserts for the holidays. I don't know if my original fam-jam is still here or if changes have taken place in some of your lives too...
Guys, I feel like I am letting my Steemit fam down. We're a community here and we're only better together. I have always believed that and held it true in my heart.
So, that being said, I have to tell you a secret.
You know I don't keep anything in the dark here so, I'll tell you where my heart's been hiding and why I haven't been around lately even though it burns me to my core to type this (and somehow in some defense mechanism I'm not writing as vulnerably as I originally intended) but stay with me anyway... here it goes!
I, 
Nay, ripped to shreds and fed to the wolves.
Going back to my question at the forefront... does absence make the heart grow fonder (or colder?)
Does being out of sight equate to being out of mind as well?
For me, with you, being away from you made me miss you more despite everything I was going through. I knew my friends here would be able to virtually hug me back into tip-top, happy-hearted, joyfully playful me and I am really feeling excited to be back and to connect with you again.
... But in the other case (the case of my battered heart)... honestly, the question is here for a reason.
Now that I partied my pain away in Thailand, got a new tattoo, and did a bunch of other super rom-com-esque suggested ways to feel better about myself, I think I can pull it together and start creating again. Creating is my true love, that and food (but you already knew that!)
This is my check in and small account of why I left ya'll high and dry but I am sure at one point I will feel it medically appropriate to bare my entire soul on here. (Writing is incredibly therapeutic and if you're willing, I'd love to let the fragmented pieces of my heart come together in a story for you one day!)
Until then, (On a lighter, brighter note) I can't wait to show you guys the highlights of my adventures! I will try to organize the photos so I can show you some breathtaking views!
One small snag... my epic, brand new phone that I bought with my very first Steemit monies was stolen on NYE :'( Tragic start to 2018 and my photo quality is definitely going to decrease until I can get a new one with a good cam. AHHH, life is something else isn't it? (Keeping my eyes on the brightside....)
I invite you to think about my question and let me know what your opinion is. I have been wavering this in my mind for months and I want a group consensus ;) <3
Thank you for the amazing half a year Steemians! I am sending you all love and wishing you a wonderful start to 2018!
XO,