Why don't people want to join feminism, even if they support gender equality?
People don't want to be told what political or social groups to join, right? Especially if there's a bit of a threat involved. Being seen as sexist, or a bad person, just for not joining a movement is a problem.
People are getting pissed off that they need to be part of a specific political and social movement, or else they get insulted and told they have to join- or they're bigots or something. Has this happened to you?
But why not join? What's wrong with feminism?
On the surface, nothing. Feminism according to feminists is "A movement supporting gender equality".
Just like a religion to a religious person might boil down to "Love others, love god," or something similar.
But as we boil it down, we might forget that the water we're boiling is still there. A religion is not composed of a single sentence, nor is feminism composed only of gender equality. There is more to it. Little tiny things that some people ignore, but others notice. I don't think a person can be honest, yet say "Feminism is only pushing for gender equality, and has no other motives", just as a person cannot honestly say "Religion only wants peace". It's not a secret that religions have a lot of rules and caveats to them, such as rituals, clothing and prayers.
Feminism is the same way, and it's why a lot of people refuse to be feminist, while still supporting gender equality.
This is simply how it is. I didn't choose for the world to be this way, it just is, so please don't get mad at me for bringing this up. People often strongly disagree with being feminist, and those same people often still fight strongly for gender equality. They publicly declare support for gender equality, so this isn't just a platitude.
Why are people rejecting feminism in such a way? Is it uncomfortable experiences with feminists? Is it the word itself? Feminism is a gendered word, and that cannot be denied. Feminism can said to mean the same as "gender equality", but then why not just say "gender equality" instead of feminism? Or could it be that there is more to feminism than "gender equality"? Ideas like the patriarchy, or privilege, go beyond "gender equality", and often include a lot of weird stuff, which if put into law, would be extremely oppressive.
People who are especially motivated will informally censor others. I'm sure you've heard of the SJW.
Censorship doesn't fly with me for any reason. I can't help but feel that they are censoring people in some form, and you might feel this way too.
Not all censorship is implemented by governments and violent force. Being able to say to someone, "Don't mansplain", is a way of saying "Your opinion doesn't count because you are a man". I never see the inverse. I never see a man telling a women that her opinion doesn't count because she's a woman.
This sort of one-sided attack will instantly drive men away from modern feminism. That's just how it is. It doesn't matter if it's fair to feminists or even logical. Maybe feminism as it is is already perfect.
But it will drive away men who don't want to feel bad for being born male. Humans don't choose their sex at birth, so using words like "mansplain", which I've heard enough to bring up now, is extremely oppressive to me. It shuts down the conversation. You can't argue with being called sexist by a person who views a particular sex as being inherently sexist just for existing.
"Stop talking, and listen", is something else I've heard, but I've only seen it said by feminists. Of course it makes sense to listen to a person's story if you want to understand them, but I get the feeling the "stop talking" aspect is indefinite. Even if a person says "I'm pro-gender equality", until that person says "I'm a feminist", the sort of feminist who would say such a thing will continue to look down on this person.
I get the feeling that a person who says "Don't talk, listen", does not in fact wish to listen themselves. In conversations I've seen where a sentence like that is uttered, I get the feeling that it's said only because the person saying it does not want debate. They want to win by default, and have no reason to question their views.
Simply making society unfriendly towards dissent of an opinion will stifle opinions and free-speech. Even if I personally disagree with the opinion, I still don't think it should be censored. But even worse than that, opinions that aren't even necessarily hostile towards gender equality are often attacked. This sort of feeling makes me think of how both democrats and republicans both openly attack libertarians/others.
A person who is gender equality friendly, but not a feminist, will be attacked by feminists, yet this person will still be against sexism. This is a problem, isn't it? This sort of thing that I've noticed happening, is going to make people turn against feminism. And it has.
Problems like this are keeping people from feminism. I don't want to push away potential allies by saying "You have to join my movement, or you're a bad person." That's not how I work.
There's also some talk about "Codes of Conduct", that have been occurring lately.
There's been heavy discussion regarding websites where programmers hang out, and how they should adopt a code of conduct: one that is feminist in nature. This sort of thing has caused quite a few people to become extremely angry. They don't like being told what they can and cannot say, especially when there have been no issues.
When a code of conduct is introduced, despite the community already functioning well, there is a reason to question motivations, and if not motivations, at least question the logic of doing such a thing. If Steemit suddenly adopted a code of conduct, it might be subtle at first, but people would feel censored. They'd think "Am I allowed to post an article like this?" This article for instance, could be flagged just for questioning a popular viewpoint, could it not? That sort of thing is extremely dangerous. Censorship is not an option Steemit can make. If this place becomes censored, people will leave.
I've noticed zero actual sexism here, but there's already been a popular post saying we need to clean up the general chat channel. This makes no sense to me. I've seen no issues, unless you see normal human interaction as inherently bad, so why should it need to be cleaned up? It seems like censorship for no good reason, and when applied to a place like Steemit, where ideas should be able to flow freely, I can't help but question motivations.
That's why a lot of people, even on Steemit, I'd imagine, will happily support gender equality, but NOT feminism.
Personally, I do agree with a lot of feminist ideas, and general concepts of freedom. The right to do with your body as you wish, the right to be involved with politics, the right to work, the right to choose your own destiny, I'm in agreement with all that.
Not only that, but I strongly support the idea of "Free speech with a positive mindset". That means you should be able to say anything you want, while remembering that it's up to you to make the community a friendly place. Insulting people or being hostile will achieve very little for yourself. But at the end of the day, it's up to you to form the philosophies that guide your life.
So what do you think?
Comment if you have an opinion. I want to hear it.
Let's all listen to each other; I see no reason to view anyone here as my enemy.
~Kitten