What is Continuity of Comfort, what is Opportunity for Adventure, and which one defines you? And why does it matter?
This concept is helping me as I navigate through tricky and unusual personal waters. Life is weird, and at age 26, I find myself at a crossroads. Many people in my life are on different paths - and as the old “crew” fractures more and more, I realize that I can choose what I want.
I can’t have all of my old friends, all my old hobbies. Times are changing. I realize that it’s truly up to me who I spend my time with - and that even solitude is a fine option in the short-term, if bad influence is the alternative.
On that topic, I am playing with this idea of “comfort-seekers” versus “adventurers.” I find this concept helpful to defend my dreams against the negativity of the world.
Here’s the idea:
Continuity of Comfort
A lot of people are seeking the “continuity of comfort” in their lives.
This means continuing to have the same things that you have now, if they make you feel good. When you get something new that is an “upgrade” to your life, you never lose it.
Once the comfort-seeker gets a TV, they can’t imagine life without it. When they go from a twin bed to a queen bed, it’s a new way of life. The new, improved computer and video game system become basics for recreation. The car becomes a newer, nicer car, and this is the new standard.
It can turn into the American Nightmare real quick. But, managed properly, this is a simple and perhaps enjoyable life. When one lives within their means, the Continuity of Comfort mindset makes sense and can be pleasant.
Opportunity for Adventure
A rare few are focused on the Opportunity for Adventure.
This means focusing on creating open space in your life so you can do the coolest thing that comes your way. The adventurer never wants to say “I can’t do that cool thing because I have another thing on my schedule.” Thus, they keep (force) their schedule open and flexible.
The adventurer avoids comforts that may become addicting. She doesn’t want the TV or the sofa, not unless it somehow enhances the chance of adventure.
This mindset has its downsides, it can lead to homelessness or couch-crashing laziness… or, if the adventurer manages to overcome the obstacles, develop a stable and diverse freelance income, and learn to thrive in the social environment of weird adventuring, they can live the Dream Life.
These Two Lifestyles Seem Similar But Are Opposite
The problem happens when comfort-seekers and adventurers try to talk about life.
They seem to be talking about the same thing. The two could discuss money, politics, ambition, family, philanthropy, all of the big stuff. But there is a core difference that means the two people will never actually hear each other.
When the comfort-seeker talks about ideas for the future, everything has the punchline of “as long as its safe.”
If the comfort-seeker says they might look for a new job, or try to achieve a new personal challenge, it always has “as always as its safe” as an added part. They’ll run a marathon if its safe. They’ll quit the job they hate - one day, if they have years of savings, which will never happen. Dreams are permissible to discuss, but they are never safe, so the punch line is always “and play it safe, and see what happens, but don’t go for it.”
When the adventurer talks about life, everything has the punchline of “as long as it isn’t safe.”
The adventurer knows that all safety is an illusion anyway. They know that so many of the comfortable people are depressed and confused, seeking pleasure and satisfaction but rarely finding it. They know that life in this century will not be like life of the 1900’s.
And when the adventurer states their goals, they mean them. “I want to be on tour and putting out original music all year for the next 20 years. I want to sell out my shows and make an impact.”
The comfort-seeker hears this and says: “That’s great, what an exciting dream…” …but in their head, it ends with “as long as it’s safe.” And in their head it ends with “and you know that’s a crazy idea.”
Right now I can only make room for adventurers in my life. That’s just how it is for me.