There is a deep irony in this experiment to read Proust in the sauna. I set about to do it because I was having trouble sitting alone with my thoughts for an extended period of time. The novel was to give me something to read and fill up the time.
And yet, now that I've started this, I find myself so enraptured by many of the passages in Proust, that I easily sit there thinking about them in the sauna without even needing to read.
The book is acting like a collection of Zen-like koans: to be digested and mulled over endlessly. The longer I spend thinking on a sentence, the more enlightened I become about the meaning. It's kind of amazing that anyone could write something so full of gems.
This brings us to the first reflection from the beginning of Swann's Way.
"It is plain that the truth I am seeking lies not in the cup but in myself." (pg. 48 of the 1981 Vintage International edition)
Wow. What a sentence.
The main character has an experience that I think we all can relate to. A distinctive taste of his "petites madeleines" and tea floods his mind with memories of his childhood. He gets transported to the exact moment of his past when he used to have this food and drink.
This happens to me with music all the time. I'll hear a song on the radio I haven't heard since childhood, and it's almost like I'm back there. It also happens with certain smells around holidays or season changes.
The sensation is bittersweet. It's such an intense nostalgia to be transported back in time like that. And then when you try to recreate the experience, it's gone. It has to happen on its own, out of nowhere.
As the sentence we're reflecting on points out, this means it isn't anything in taste, sound, or smell that's causing it. It's something inside of us that is causing it. Our minds have such amazing power to evoke these sensations when nothing is actually happening.
Our minds are a mysterious black box. When we search within ourselves to figure out why this is happening, it all slips away. There's so much power, and we have so little control. We often search for these truths to no avail.
And maybe it's better that way. We can just accept it and live our lives. Trying to control these moments will only lead to sadness.
The next time it happens to me, I'm going to experience it fully and then let it go.