The beginning..
I woke up in the middle of the night. I was afraid.. Nothing except my own heartbeats could be heard..
This had happend from time to time and even more frequently since the day I lost my job. No one knows the truth. I have bills to pay.. I am truly desperate but I will never tell anyone about it. - I am alone. No one can help me.
I went to the kitchen to grab myself a glass of water.. I was thirsty. I walked past the kitchen table. There it was.. The major reason I had become this desperate. - The bills.
Being unemployed during 5 months can bring anyone down to their knees..
I had more than $1,000 in bills and I had $37 left in my bank account.
I was standing in my kitchen, paralyzed from just a glimpse of this huge pile of bills on my table.... I stood there with a glass in my hand.. I couldn't move. - I don't know for how long but probably 10 minutes or so, until I came up with this life saving idea.. Out of nowhere, I came up with the perfect solution that would save my sorry ass.
Either pay or get evicted. There's nothing in between.
"I can't live on the streets! I'm worth so much more than that!"
The solution I came up with was.. Robbery. I would steal a purse.
I had already sold everything I could. I sold my laptop and I sold my TV. I sold a necklace and a ring.. This had been done months ago.. I had nothing left.. I was totally out of options.
- Robbery. To steal a purse.. That was the only thing that could save me. That was the only thing that could bring me enough cash quick enough to pay some of my bills.
The next day, I went to the store. I was determined. I would steal an old lady's purse. It was the easiest target I could think of.
I sat outside the store and waited. I waited for the perfect moment. I waited like a wolf on my prey..
- There she was. An old lady. Barely able to walk.
I started to walk behind her in to the store.. I was nervous but I had no other choice. This was my final chance. I had to pay my bills. All of them were late already.. It's just a matter of time before I'm getting evicted.
- I had to do this.
I knew where she had the money.. All of these old people have their money in a purse. Always. I would just grab the whole bag and run. That was the plan. I was aware of the fact that this old lady probably didn't have enough money to pay all my bills so I had to do this a couple of times.. I had to find myself some more victims..
Before anything else, I had to focus on this lady. Take the bag. Take the money. Run. It's easy.
During the time I followed her I got reminded of something..
I'm not that kind of person. I'm not raised that way. I can't do this. No matter what happens to me.. I would never hurt another person. Not like this. Never.
This old lady had already grabbed the stuff she needed and she went for the exit and she was about to pay for the groceries.. I grabbed a coke and I stood behind her in line.
"That'll be $34." - The girl in the register said.
The lady reached for her wallet.. She opened her wallet...
"Oh.. I must have forgot my money at home. They are lying on the table.. I must have forgot them.. I am so sorry.." - The lady said.
By pure impulse and instinct.. Because my mother and father taught me to help others in need. They taught me to be nice and they told me to open doors for other people.. I put my coke to the side and told the lady that I would pay for her. And I did. I paid everything for her. $34..
When she asked me why I didn't bought something for myself I simply told her that I didn't have enough money.. She promised that she would pay everything back.
I walked with her home. We laughed a few times and when we arrived to her house, I told her that I was sorry. Not for the things I had done, as I hadn't done anyting stupid.. But I told her that I was sorry for the thing I thought of doing.. The thing I had planned to do.. I told her about my bills. About my plan. Everything.
Instead of calling the police.. Instead of yelling and being angry..
She simply said. "It's okay. Don't worry. It's fine. I will help you."
She invited me in. She gave me almost $600 in cash and said:
"Hurry and pay whatever you can with this. This is all I have. Take it."
I couldn't accept it and I never did.. I got the eviction notice the next day.
I had 7 days to move..
- I packed some clothes and I left that same night.
I had nothing besides that. No photos, no personal things. Not even a toothbrush.. I had $3.
- Why did I leave that same night?
Due to self respect. I would never in my life stand there moving out meanwhile the cops or my neighbors saw me. Never. I would never endure something like that.. So I left. It was the best option at the time.
The first day on the street was the scariest thing I ever experienced in life..
When I woke up I went to the library. It was open from 08.00 to 20.00 each day. That's 12 hours I could be indoors.. And I could borrow a computer for free. I could search for new a job.
A few days later..
My phone rings.. - "Hey mom."
"Where are you?" - My mom asked.. "I'm at the library"..
I told her that I had lost my job but that I was hired immediately from another company.. I told her about the bills but I told her that I'd managed to pay them all.. What I never told her was the part of being homeless. I just couldn't. I was too ashamed.. I lived on the streets for the next 5 or 6 weeks.
I cleaned myself up and showered in a gym and at my parents house.I told them that I came straight from work so I had to take a shower. I borrowed my father's razor so I could shave myself. I obviously lied but I could never tell my parents the truth. Not this time.
During my third week as a homeless person, I finally got myself a job.
I cleaned up at work and at my parents house. None of them knew the truth. None of them knew that I lived on the streets.. I had to maintain this facade for almost 3 more weeks.
- In late May, I got my own apartment. That was during my fifth or sixth week as a homeless.
I told my parents that I had moved to another apartment.. But I've never told anyone that I was homeless.
- This Is Based On True Events. Based On My Story. Although It's a work of fiction.
I'm not used to this kind of writing but I would very much appreciate your thoughts and inputs.