I can not say that to stop being miserable lamb simply. After Knight of the Sorrowful Countenance hammered into us from an early age, and to remove the armor is not easy. This is - a lot of work on themselves. Where do you start?
First you need to learn to withstand the direct view. Sheep do not like direct views, he usually confuses them, they begin to feel their weakness. Train in front of a mirror, in dealing with unpleasant people for you force yourself to keep the look. At the same time it is necessary to control the facial muscles. The fact is that when we are dealing with a person who suppresses us, our face reflexively takes pained expression, because all that we have inside is reflected on our face. Practice in front of a mirror, act out neprobivaemost, contempt, excellence, determination - all the emotions that are inherent in a strong spirit of the people. Remember what the facial muscles which position at the same time accept and learn to play these grimassy on "request". Now, when you try to crush you, even inwardly trembling with self-doubt, you will be able to repel the attack of bad emotional human expression.
After that, we must learn to argue verbally. Lovely reception - answer a question with a question. You turn the situation and did not require a report to you, and you need to report someone who is trying to put pressure on you. Streamlined, vague phrases knock the attacker confused, and you get the time to think about its further steps. These phrases include:
- What happened?
- I did not understand, repeat once again, please
- I'm busy right now, let's discuss it later.
- I'm in a hurry, now I'm back, and you tell me that again.
At the same time all kind show that you are not afraid of attacking, but in this world there is a much more important news than the one he wants to tell you. it works as it should be in the 99.9%.
Barashkov often haunted by the fear: What if it does not, all of a sudden, I suffer collapse, oh what will happen, what will happen ... Fear cheat ourselves. Failures should not be afraid, nobody will eat it. Failures periodically perceive all human beings without exception, the only difference is that someone will shake and go the other way, and someone will be compressed into a ball and did not budge. Forget even the word "failure". There is a word "result" - good or bad. Do not be afraid to become a laughing stock, 99 chances out of 100 that will not happen. Our poor results are often visible only to ourselves. I had such an episode in his life: draw a picture. I did not like it. But I did not tell anyone about it said. The picture went to the exhibition and its right to buy the exhibition, she received a lot of accolades. But those pictures, which seemed to me quite simply masterpieces, and so came back and hanging in my room. Do not tell anyone that you have something does not work the way you want. Pretend that everything it was intended! And do not be afraid of change. Here is a great number of paths and roads, if something does not add up in this field, try another, do not be afraid to acquire new knowledge and new skills, who knows what you're really talented.
Podnatorev in streamlined phrases, you can move on to more specific. Give the store of expired products - ask politely to change. Lambs often think that in order to assert their rights, it is necessary to make trouble. A scandal that's - oh, horror! - Anybody would think that you badly brought up! This is not true. I, for example, to defend their rights with a broad smile. It is important to make it clear to the person that you do not consider him evil doctor, do not think that he purposely slipped you rotten canned food, but simply made a mistake. By the way, it is, most likely, in fact, mistaken. This will extinguish a possible aggression on his part, as if he suddenly her manifest, that public opinion is on your side - you asked ... In general cultural Smile as often as possible. I smile even traffic cop who stopped me, and very often these terrible uncles begin to smile in response, and sometimes the question whether all I have in the order are met affirmative answer, and I do not have to show documents. Once a person is smiling, it means that he is confident and not afraid of anything.
Our lovely lamb often live with the installation of "around some enemies." They may feel that the whole world is against them, that everyone wishes them counter the evil that everyone around them to discuss, laugh at them, rejoice their failures. But this is not the case. By and large, people do not care about short-range, all busy with their own problems. The details of your life are interested in except that the grandmothers on the benches. Make yourself installation to see the good in people. Fear of communication need to get rid of. You can start with the family, which is likely, even if you do something wrong, do not pay attention to it. Then you can increase the number of their acquaintances, make new friends. Learn from positive people towards life.
Barashkov often eaten all sorts of horrors on the subject of what they think about their surrounding. They feel that their every action has a crucial role in the eyes of others, and if they do something today to blurt out, make, put on wrong and is not something that tomorrow they will have to poke a finger each counter. Relax. Yet no one has lived his life, not to make silly acts. And if someone from the surrounding suddenly will laugh at you, then it only means that he is ill-mannered. In such a case, remember the English saying, a good education is not to not to spill sauce on the tablecloth, and is not to be noticed, as did a neighbor. In this regard, I am very impressed by the attitude of my friend, the happy owner of a huge mop of fiery red hair. In her youth, she had come to do in college. Some girl in passing, as if casually remarked: "I do not like red!", To which my friend immediately replied: "It's your problem." You can not please everybody and always. Some people would not like your clothes, someone hair color, someone timbre of the voice, the shape of the nose, the sound of footsteps ... Do not put the task to be nice to everyone is an unattainable goal. If you are someone does not like it - it is a problem of the person. And if he does not advertise, how much more of this suggests that it is either poorly educated or sick on the head. Do not attempt to adjust underneath all - be yourself "and all the world can wait."
What to do if your environment was got such sheep? Hands scratched and send it either to a psychologist or a priest. Alas, other people's lives, we are not the owners. To help remedy the situation can only if the person asks for this assistance, or at least not reject it and make at least some steps in this direction. Sometimes lambs need a kind word of support, and sometimes a good kick for takeoff. But if the sheep is a thousand and one reason for that not to change anything, it is not patting your nerves, do not meddle in this bondage to be the savior of those who do not want to be saved. "You can not stick to the caterpillar, wings and make it fly like a butterfly. It must change from within. " (Jake Coles).